I'm back. Feeling a bit better today. Still unable to type more than I could bear but will try my best to share a couple of encouraging lines here...
Hampir 2 minggu berlalu RL sunyi sepi tanpa suara tuan rumah...yes, as i have informed you all earlier my long absence was due to my unstable health condition, both physically and emotionally. I admit those 2 weeks and even up to now were very tough days for me to go through. I fell very ill and was depressed with almost everything and everyone around me. I was easily irritated and feeling gloomy and blue all the time...nasib baik 'my beloved best friend' sabar dan tahan dengan my unpredictable swings of mood time2 darurat begini...thanks dear for being a very understanding friend of mine :D.
Walaupun cabaran yang saya (dan keluarga) tanggung selama dua minggu ini bukan bertambah ringan, bahkan bertambah mencabar namun I truly learn a lot! I feel much better now not because my (health) problems have been solved but rather because of the peace that dwells in my heart in spite of the painful trial that me and my family have to go through now. In a blink of an eye, many 'bad' things happened in rows lately. Firstly, keadaan kesihatan saya sangat merosot...dan pastinya itu membuatkan bapa, mama dan family susah hati. Kemudian, soon after that dad was admitted to the hospital for 3 days because of anemia dan sedikit pendarahan dalam usus. Mama and my eld. sister took care of dad while there. Lepas tu, on the day dad keluar dari hospital, mama's father (mendiang KK Gaul B Majun) gave up his last breath and died on the ninth of October 2009. Belum habis berkabung dengan kepergian grandpa...four days after the funeral (last Thursday), all in a sudden, Mama diserang stroke yang menyebabkan separuh badan (sebelah kanan) lumpuh. Masih dirawat di QE Hospital hingga kini. She can't get up on her own. Can't talk too. Cannot even eat through the mouth. She can only eat using the tube that plugged in through her nose goes directly to the stomach. Pity mama...
Mula2 menerima semua hakikat ini....I was so devastated! I felt crushed and became more depressed. But after a lot of praying...akhirnya saya belajar sesuatu yang sangat berharga. Seperti 'dipukul' oleh sesuatu yang sangat menyakitkan, saya sedar bahawa di saat berat seperti sekarang, saya sepatutnya menjadi lebih kuat daripada selalu. Seakan baru sedar dari mimpi yang panjang, saya melihat 'kebodohan' membiarkan diri dalam kemurungan kerana perkara2 yang berada di luar daripada kemampuan saya untuk mengawalnya...I've been telling myself this...
When things are out out of our control, worry is futile. Have faith in God!
All my siblings turn to me and keep telling me "jangan sedih sangat...jaga kesihatan" because they know sadness and depression are great 'pantang' for my illness. I tell them...don't worry, i'll be strong....yess...I'll be strong for mama.
All I hope and pray now is for mama to get well and have her normal health back. May the good Lord grant my(our) prayers. I know mama is strong just like me...and I believe both of us will be able to get up and walk side by side again..very soon...I promise...I'll do everything I can to be healthy again...if not for myself, it's for mama.
Be strong everyone no matter how tough your life is...enjoy your happy moment because it will not stay long, appreciate your every challenging hours too because it will not stay forever either.
Hampir 2 minggu berlalu RL sunyi sepi tanpa suara tuan rumah...yes, as i have informed you all earlier my long absence was due to my unstable health condition, both physically and emotionally. I admit those 2 weeks and even up to now were very tough days for me to go through. I fell very ill and was depressed with almost everything and everyone around me. I was easily irritated and feeling gloomy and blue all the time...nasib baik 'my beloved best friend' sabar dan tahan dengan my unpredictable swings of mood time2 darurat begini...thanks dear for being a very understanding friend of mine :D.
Walaupun cabaran yang saya (dan keluarga) tanggung selama dua minggu ini bukan bertambah ringan, bahkan bertambah mencabar namun I truly learn a lot! I feel much better now not because my (health) problems have been solved but rather because of the peace that dwells in my heart in spite of the painful trial that me and my family have to go through now. In a blink of an eye, many 'bad' things happened in rows lately. Firstly, keadaan kesihatan saya sangat merosot...dan pastinya itu membuatkan bapa, mama dan family susah hati. Kemudian, soon after that dad was admitted to the hospital for 3 days because of anemia dan sedikit pendarahan dalam usus. Mama and my eld. sister took care of dad while there. Lepas tu, on the day dad keluar dari hospital, mama's father (mendiang KK Gaul B Majun) gave up his last breath and died on the ninth of October 2009. Belum habis berkabung dengan kepergian grandpa...four days after the funeral (last Thursday), all in a sudden, Mama diserang stroke yang menyebabkan separuh badan (sebelah kanan) lumpuh. Masih dirawat di QE Hospital hingga kini. She can't get up on her own. Can't talk too. Cannot even eat through the mouth. She can only eat using the tube that plugged in through her nose goes directly to the stomach. Pity mama...
Mula2 menerima semua hakikat ini....I was so devastated! I felt crushed and became more depressed. But after a lot of praying...akhirnya saya belajar sesuatu yang sangat berharga. Seperti 'dipukul' oleh sesuatu yang sangat menyakitkan, saya sedar bahawa di saat berat seperti sekarang, saya sepatutnya menjadi lebih kuat daripada selalu. Seakan baru sedar dari mimpi yang panjang, saya melihat 'kebodohan' membiarkan diri dalam kemurungan kerana perkara2 yang berada di luar daripada kemampuan saya untuk mengawalnya...I've been telling myself this...
When things are out out of our control, worry is futile. Have faith in God!
All my siblings turn to me and keep telling me "jangan sedih sangat...jaga kesihatan" because they know sadness and depression are great 'pantang' for my illness. I tell them...don't worry, i'll be strong....yess...I'll be strong for mama.
All I hope and pray now is for mama to get well and have her normal health back. May the good Lord grant my(our) prayers. I know mama is strong just like me...and I believe both of us will be able to get up and walk side by side again..very soon...I promise...I'll do everything I can to be healthy again...if not for myself, it's for mama.
Be strong everyone no matter how tough your life is...enjoy your happy moment because it will not stay long, appreciate your every challenging hours too because it will not stay forever either.
