Get Well Soon Mama..

I'm back. Feeling a bit better today. Still unable to type more than I could bear but will try my best to share a couple of encouraging lines here...

Hampir 2 minggu berlalu RL sunyi sepi tanpa suara tuan rumah...yes, as i have informed you all earlier my long absence was due to my unstable health condition, both physically and emotionally. I admit those 2 weeks and even up to now were very tough days for me to go through. I fell very ill and was depressed with almost everything and everyone around me. I was easily irritated and feeling gloomy and blue all the time...nasib baik 'my beloved best friend' sabar dan tahan dengan my unpredictable swings of mood time2 darurat begini...thanks dear for being a very understanding friend of mine :D.

Walaupun cabaran yang saya (dan keluarga) tanggung selama dua minggu ini bukan bertambah ringan, bahkan bertambah mencabar namun I truly learn a lot! I feel much better now not because my (health) problems have been solved but rather because of the peace that dwells in my heart in spite of the painful trial that me and my family have to go through now. In a blink of an eye, many 'bad' things happened in rows lately. Firstly, keadaan kesihatan saya sangat merosot...dan pastinya itu membuatkan bapa, mama dan family susah hati. Kemudian, soon after that dad was admitted to the hospital for 3 days because of anemia dan sedikit pendarahan dalam usus. Mama and my eld. sister took care of dad while there. Lepas tu, on the day dad keluar dari hospital, mama's father (mendiang KK Gaul B Majun) gave up his last breath and died on the ninth of October 2009. Belum habis berkabung dengan kepergian grandpa...four days after the funeral (last Thursday), all in a sudden, Mama diserang stroke yang menyebabkan separuh badan (sebelah kanan) lumpuh. Masih dirawat di QE Hospital hingga kini. She can't get up on her own. Can't talk too. Cannot even eat through the mouth. She can only eat using the tube that plugged in through her nose goes directly to the stomach. Pity mama...

Mula2 menerima semua hakikat ini....I was so devastated! I felt crushed and became more depressed. But after a lot of praying...akhirnya saya belajar sesuatu yang sangat berharga. Seperti 'dipukul' oleh sesuatu yang sangat menyakitkan, saya sedar bahawa di saat berat seperti sekarang, saya sepatutnya menjadi lebih kuat daripada selalu. Seakan baru sedar dari mimpi yang panjang, saya melihat 'kebodohan' membiarkan diri dalam kemurungan kerana perkara2 yang berada di luar daripada kemampuan saya untuk mengawalnya...I've been telling myself this...

When things are out out of our control, worry is futile. Have faith in God!

All my siblings turn to me and keep telling me "jangan sedih sangat...jaga kesihatan" because they know sadness and depression are great 'pantang' for my illness. I tell them...don't worry, i'll be strong....yess...I'll be strong for mama.

All I hope and pray now is for mama to get well and have her normal health back. May the good Lord grant my(our) prayers. I know mama is strong just like me...and I believe both of us will be able to get up and walk side by side again..very soon...I promise...I'll do everything I can to be healthy again...if not for myself, it's for mama.

Be strong everyone no matter how tough your life is...enjoy your happy moment because it will not stay long, appreciate your every challenging hours too because it will not stay forever either.

Love and Relationship - pending

Been in silence for almost 2 weeks by now. Actually I have lots of things to write on here but just not in the right mood at the moment. I've been out of energy and terribly not well these days. Kinda dizzy and lethargic. I promised a friend to share my write-up on love and relationship but even this one need to be put off also....so sorry my friend for keeping you to wait some more.

To all RL readers, visitors...thanks for you endless support. Will resume blogging soon when I regain my health back. Wish you all the best of luck, health and happiness.

Being A Bookworm Again!

Nothing much to write this week. Not because I'm running out of ideas....not exactly for sure. It just that I'm having my most enjoyable time with something that I've forsaken for quite a long time, so couldn't get rid of it for the time being. You must be guessing what is it actually I'm up to...hehe...something very special of course. Well, getting myself back acquainted to my long forgotten passion was not that difficult as I had predicted it earlier. In fact, reading has always been my all-time favorite hobby since childhood up to now. But due to many constraints, I almost lost the passion of really reading for these past few months. Being over occupied with other commitments made me to put reading off for a long time, which I really regret it by now.

Thank goodness, I've found my way back...huhuhu....so, it's time to be on silent mode again. Sometimes we need to be still in order to be refilled and refueled before we can go on to the next level of life's journey. Before I can share anything more valuable here and on my other blogs, let me polish my sense of 'hearing' and thinking through reading first.

Come go with me to the world of books!

....was thinking of writing an entry with similiar topic but different content on SAM tapi...hmmm...bisuk2 sajalah...:)

Happiness is....?

Many people crave for a happy life. In fact, all living homosapiens either consciously or non-consciously has indeed been living for the quest of the one and only, the 9-letters word called HAPPINESS. Unfortunately, many –or perhaps I should say mostly – people has failed in finding the way to real happiness. Why? Simply because they have failed in choosing the right path that would lead to the right destination in the first place. Many turn to money, health, wealth, friends, music, job and even relationship for happiness but finally ending up in frustration when struck by reality that those things can make them happy (extremely happy at times), but can’t give true fulfillment. Money and wealth can’t love you back. Health decreases in quality as the years slip by. Friends can’t give you hope. Love can go sour and bitter. Music and job are pretty impersonal, in the long run.

So, what is happiness then? Different person has different view on what happiness is. What is your personal definition of happiness?

Part 3 - Determining The Right Choice

Salam sejahtera. Kita masih lagi berada di bulan merdeka, jadi rasanya belum terlambat untuk saya mengucapkan Salam Merdeka 1Malaysia. Salam perjuangan kepada sahabat2 setia RL. Sesungguhnya kunjungan, sokongan dan komen2 positif rakan2 sekalian amat berharga dan bermakna untuk menemani langkah perjuanganku yang belum selesai. Terima kasih sahabat2ku!

Menyambung kembali entry lalu saya yang agak lama tertunda, selain 3 panduan yang sudah saya kongsikan tentang bagaimana membuat pilihan yang betul, masih ada 2 panduan tambahan yang akan saya huraikan sebagai penyudah entry "Determining The Right Choice".

Panduan 4 - Meminta nasihat dan pandangan daripada ibubapa/orang dewasa yang matang dan 'spiritual'. Apabila kita harus membuat satu pilihan yang besar, yang akan mempengaruhi seluruh hidup kita sepanjang hayat, kita haruslah meminta nasihat daripada ibubapa dan beberapa orang yang matang. Tetapi matang saja tidak cukup, orang itu juga haruslah spiritual kerana kata2 seorang yang tidak mengenal Tuhan pasti berbeza dengan kata2 seorang yang rohaninya teguh kerana dia bukan berbicara atas kebijaksanaan sendiri tetapi oleh kebijaksanaan dari 'atas'. Harus diingat bahawa meminta nasihat daripada seorang yang tidak spiritual adakalanya membahayakan kerana besar kemungkinan nasihat itu akan membawa kita kepada keputusan yang salah. Ketika meminta nasihat daripada beberapa orang yang matang dan spiritual, kita harus mendengar persamaan dan perbezaan pendapat mereka. Jika hampir rata2 mengatakan pilihan A adalah yang terbaik, pertimbangkanlah nasihat mereka itu sewajarnya. Pasti ada sebab logik dan baik yang menyebabkan suara mereka mempunyai irama yang senada. Walaupun kadang2 keputusan terbaik boleh jadi datang dari suara minoriti tapi biasanya itu jarang terjadi dan kalaupun terjadi harus ada satu panduan terakhir yang kita mesti pertimbangkan sebelum kita 'confirm'kan keputusan/pilihan muktamad kita.

Panduan 5 - Adakah hati kita benar-benar damai dengan keputusan/pilihan yang kita buat? Sekalipun kita memenuhi semua kriteria yang saya sebutkan sebelum ini namun jika hati kita tetap tidak damai dengan pilihan yang kita buat, pasti ada sesuatu yang silap ketika proses membuat pilihan itu dilakukan. Contohnya, seorang pelajar memilih jurusan kedoktoran sebagai bidang pengajian dan seterusnya akan menjadi kariernya kerana didorong oleh keluarga untuk memilih profesion tersebut. Walaupun pelajar ini 'excel' dalam pengajian perubatan tetapi hatinya sentiasa tidak tenang dan tidak ada kedamaian yang sejati. Akhirnya, pelajar tersebut menukar jurusan pengajian kepada bidang keagamaan. Setelah itu, barulah dia dapat merasakan kedamaian yang sebenar di dalam hatinya. Ini sekadar satu ilustrasi, masih banyak contoh lain yang boleh kita temui seperti dalam memilih pasangan hidup.

One last reminder...

Belajarlah untuk mendengar suara 'kecil' di dalam hati anda. Jangan abaikan rasa hati yang berat(tidak tenteram) untuk meneruskan langkah kerana itu mungkin petanda bahawa anda sedang berjalan di track yang salah. Apabila anda sudah membuat sesuatu keputusan dan mulai melangkah mengikuti arah itu tetapi anda masih lagi tidak merasakan satu kedamaian jiwa di dalam Tuhan, maka itu adalah saat untuk berhenti melangkah dan berpatah balik. Berpatah baliklah ke tempat di mana hati anda menemui kedamaian di dalam Dia. After all, jika benar anda telah membuat keputusan dan pilihan yang tepat mengikut kehendak Dia, pasti Dia akan memeteraikannya bersama kedamaian jiwa.

Selamat membuat keputusan yang tepat! Selamat meneruskan perjuangan!