REALLY LIVING

Hope In The Midst Of a Chaotic World

2011-02-16T16:36:00.002+08:00

We are living in a very chaotic world today. It's an undeniable fact. Frightening news of crisis of all types - political crisis, economic crisis, mental crisis, health crisis, social crisis just to name a few - are very prevalent and getting worse these days. Although the intensity and types of turmoil may vary from one place (or country) to another place, we all share a common corrupted and sinful world. No matter how much we want to avoid crisis and its effects, none can escape from getting affected by them either directly or indirectly, in one way or another notwithstanding the geographical boundary. Whether we want it or not we are trapped in a very messed up world!

Such being the case, we - all the earthlings - can't help but become fearful, discouraged and depressed. These are normal and acceptable reactions but not to be taken for granted. What seems to be normal in the beginning may, in the long run, turn into a greater disaster when left untreated. Take last week's local news for instance, two cases of 'self-induced death' or better known as committing suicide in Serdang and Malacca are enough to warn us the horrible result of depression. According to the report, a 35-year-old mother jumped to her death from the 10th floor after murdering her 5-year-old daughter by throwing her from the fourth floor earlier. Why? Because of depression. Meanwhile a Form 5 student in Malacca also did the same thing by jumping to her death in front of horrified teachers and schoolmates. Why? No specific reason mentioned but I assume most likely due to depression because logically thinking I don't think a hopeful person would ever attempt to take his/her own life. Only a hopeless person who dare to be coward enough would commit such a crime. In fact, while typing this entry there's a funeral going on in my village at this very hour. One of my neighbors (a 38-year-old father) had chosen to poison himself to death, leaving 8 young kids behind and an ex-wife who has left him for another man two years prior to the incident . Feeling betrayed and unfairly dumped, he had been in great depression ever since until last weekend he decided to end his own life. What a sad and tragic ending for creatures who were created after the image of God! Had they remained hopeful and faithful things would have been different for them.

Friends, it's true that this old earth is not an easy and safe world to live in but soon and very soon all the chaos that has turned our world upside down will pass away. No matter how dark things look or how huge your problems are at the moment, never ever lose hope. There's hope in God. He knows His plans for your life. Our loving God plans to prosper you and me, not to harm us. He longs to give us a hope and a future. Be strong and take courage. Put your trust in Him because you are destined to be more than a conqueror! Don't lose faith, don't lose hope because hope keeps you alive and sustains you in times of crisis. Wait till the darkness is over...it won't be long. Keep hoping for the best. God bless everyone.

Eat Pray Love

2011-01-18T16:08:00.005+08:00

According to my 2011 planning chart, this year gonna be very busy days for me. I got at least two big projects need to be done commencing next week onwards, not to mention some 'clients' that are waiting in line for some wise counsels (I'm talking about their expectation of me) from me as well as new books hoped to be touched and read by me and bla bla bla...huhu. Well of course I enjoy doing all those assignments or rather hobbies I should say but it also means less and less and less time left for blogging, facebooking whatsoever. Therefore, to all my faithful readers please bear with my inability to update my post as frequent as you wished it to be. I can promise you nothing but this - I'll try my best to accommodate your wish:-)

Eat Pray Love? It's actually a book authored by Elizabeth Gilbert. I got it from my best friend as a birthday gift last week. I've just finished reading the first few pages, still long way to go to get to the last page of the book. So far I find it very entertaining (so funny indeed that it can make me LOL like crazy while reading it...hahaha), amazing, insightful and adventurous narration of one's pursuit of pleasure, devotion and balance between the two in three different beautiful places namely Italy, India and Indonesia. I'm with her in Italy now. A place where you can encounter sweet expressions like bel far niente, means "the beauty of doing nothing" (highly recommended to workaholics only, I suppose), l' arte d' arrangiarsi - the art of making something out of nothing (highly recommended to sluggard or maybe jobless group...just my opinion though), etc. I love this quotation also..."Better to live a life of single-pointed focus"...if you got two items/desires clashing against one another, you are destined for unhappiness it says (I'm paraphrasing it)...I bet I know the reality of this philosophy very well. Trying to live a life of double-pointed focus to me is the same as living without focus at all. In the end, you'll end up accomplishing nothing or worse still living with full of regrets for the rest of your life. Anyone disagree? But what about the benefits of living harmoniously amid extremes? could we somehow synchronize seemingly nonparallel opposites into a worldview that excludes nothing? What do you think?

Well...that's it for today...will be back as soon as I get to India :-)

11.1.11 - BORN AGAIN

2011-01-11T08:50:00.005+08:00

11.1.11

Today and only today

My exclusive date comes once in a lifetime

Quintuple one reminds me of five stones

Used to tumble down the giant of old
An assurance and a promise
That through Him the giants in my life
Will soon be tumbled down too

Today and only today

marks a new beautiful beginning

For another year full of blessed hope in Him

Ready to use and be used according to His will

Today and not only for today

I fix my gaze directly before me

Like the first gleam of dawn

Shining ever brighter till the full light of day!

P/S I just jot down whatever words come to my mind and in less than 15 minutes, this is the result I got...not bad huh?...hehe. Blessed birthday to me and to everyone that shares the same birthday with me. By the way, Happy New Year 2011! Thank you for being faithful readers and friends of Really Living throughout the past year. Keep blog walking with me because I really need u all :-) God bless us.

From Mimie with love.

Enjoy Your Holidays To The Fullest!

2010-12-13T19:32:00.005+08:00

For most working individuals, holiday is always looked forward to. In fact, everybody loves holiday. We want holiday - not just holiday, but holiday + s as many as possible. It gives us rest and relief from our hectic schedules, provides time to get together with family members, can go jalan2/cuti2 Malaysia...the list goes on. Unfortunately, not all get the same quantity of holiday. Some even hardly get any. Teachers and students especially should be the most grateful ones because without the need to face the sometimes-very-fussy-boss/procedures of applying for a leave, what they desire is already granted. Like a gift receives from Santa Claus, November and December bring them a special gift of long holidays every year whom greatly envied by those belong to other professions. What a privilege to have!

But to me, meaningful holiday has nothing to do with the number of holidays you have. In other words, it's not about how long or how short your holidays are but it's about how you spend the season. Sometimes, friends come to me and ask me "kau tidak boring (sepatutnya bored ba kan..:-) di rumah saja sepanjang masa ka Mie? ". Recently, my nieces who are now on school holidays came to me and complained "boring betul la cuti ni aunty...teda apa2 mau buat di rumah." Does anyone of you out there feel the same too? The first feeling of excitement for having long long vacation slowly fades away as there's nothing interesting things left to do now. You can only wait in hope that Christmas may come as soon as possible and the joy of it's celebration would soon override the 'boringness' you're feeling at the moment. Or worse still, you just live the day as it is without any expectation, anticipation, vision or plan for something better for the next few moments, days, months, years to come.

Honestly, every time when people ask me do I ever get bored being stuck at home all day long, I always get trapped in between whether to answer yes or no. The problem is because my answer isn't a 'yes' as most people would expect to hear. The truth is this; I've always wanted to say a 'No, I don't. Never' answer to the question but considering the arrogant tone of such an extraordinary reply so most times, I ended up giving the safest response I can think of - "sometimes". Well, I wish I could be bold enough to tell the truth for the sake of truth. Nothing else counts but the truth...hehe...

Okay, you may wonder how come I never get bored with my introverted life. Firstly, because I''ve already deleted the word of bored or anything similar from my life's dictionary since long time back. Therefore, it's influence on me has been ceasing ever since. Indeed, it has lost all it's sting and there's no way for it to harm me any longer. In short, bored (or whatever you call it) ) is a word and a feeling that seems like an alien to me now because it's been a long time since I last had it.

Secondly, because I have very interesting hobbies. I love learning very much. I love reading like crazy. I love writing a lot. I love giving motivational talk. I love giving counseling to friends too. I love so on and so forth...my point here is you must have a hobby/hobbies of your interests in order to live a wonderful life. Fill your boring days doing hobbies that you love doing. Enjoy doing them. Trust me I never get bored with my quiet life because every moment spent with my hobbies bring me great contentment and satisfaction. Life is too short for me to live with boredom. In fact, I wish I had more than 24 hours a day so I could do more. Don't you?

Lastly, because I am a lady of vision and action. I have a few visions yet to achieve. I'm not going to reveal them here. No. Not yet. For now, it's enough to tell that to me no matter what happens along the journey of my life I never lose sight of my visions. These visions give me a strong sense of purpose and courage to live on. I also look at the ups and downs of life as adventurous and interesting things to explore for learning. I anticipate each and every day as a mystery yet to experience, yet to unfold. Although I never know about tomorrows nor what will happen next the mystery of the unknown itself encourages me to strive all the more towards the goal of getting it unfolded. By having these ingredients mixed in my daily meals of life my appetite for an enthusiastic life increases. Hence, I'm bored-free!

Friends, if you have been feeling bored for the last few days it's time to get rid of it. Start doing something interesting and worthwhile. Have a hobby. Have a vision. Have a purpose to live for. Learn something new. Invest your time and energy on it. Most of all, enjoy doing it. Let this holiday season become one of the most memorable times in your life not because of it's quantity but because of it's quality. Enjoy your holidays to the fullest with the highest quality of use you can best!

Have a blessed Christmas!

Peace Beyond Understanding

2010-11-04T14:43:00.003+08:00

The past four days, I was flooded by words of sympathy + encouragement from thoughtful friends in relation to one big event happening in someone else's life. I understand why they did that to me. Intentionally to console me. Empathically to tell me that I am not alone. That they understand my pain. Even share my grief. And I really appreciate it. But only a few able to contemplate the truth when I said, "I'm not sad. I've forgiven and forgotten all the hurt been done to me. I'm happy for that someone's happiness." Some raised their brows showing doubts whether or not I really meant it. Their non-verbal message was telling me "I doubt your sincerity. You are being unrealistic. You're hiding your true feelings." Maybe yes, maybe no. But one thing for sure, I'm perfectly peaceful and joyful within because Someone Greater than I is my confidence, whom I put all my trust. It's a peace beyond understanding. It's a joy beyond comprehension. It's a faith beyond the obvious - the truth and reality that I am holding to.

Therefore, I find no reason to be sad.

To whom it may concern, please apologize me for being so silent and been invisible for some time. It's nothing to do with things that had happened between us. It's just because I need to silence all the voices around me so that I can hear that soft and small voice from above more clearly. I'd rather have that 'small voice' speaking to me than anything. May the Lord bless you bountifully as you begin your new journey of life. Congrats to both of you.

To all my friends, thank you for your concerns. God bless everyone.

From Mimie with love.

Letting Go of the "If Onlys"

2010-10-27T12:01:00.003+08:00

I have 4 different topics on my mind right now. One of them is "Thursday" which is at the top of my list but don't know why I ended up writing for this topic instead. Maybe because I myself need to unleash some hidden "if onlys" that I've ignorantly stored up within me for so long. Or maybe because my mood was sort of influenced by this friend of mine who is so pathetically living her life with so many regrets that she keeps on saying "if only..." about this and that, all the time. Constantly listening to her irrational wishes, I was like "come on babe, it's not the end of the world yet. Stop messing up your life! Forget the past, live your life in the present. Life is too short to live with if onlys...better die with dignity than go on living in misery!"

Nevertheless, down deep inside my heart I realize that I do, at times, echo similar nonsense wishes as well. Although I don't consider myself as a chronic if onlys victim, it's worth all my effort to remove even the slightest trace of unhealthy regrets out of my life. Because I believe our ability to move on in life depends greatly on our success in letting go of regrets.

Friends, do you find yourself constantly regretting things that you should have done but you hadn't or things that you shouldn't have done but you had? If you do, then don't just ignore it. Treat it as a crucial warning to change your destructive mindset. Release your grip on the unchangeable past mistakes. Just think of them as a part of your development process to be a better you. They were there for a purpose. And whatever they were, dare to believe that all things always work together for good.

Rise up above your regrets. Let go of the if onlys. Say goodbye to them now. Because you are destined for greatness!

Six Month of Length

2010-10-14T19:36:00.005+08:00

Bila mood untuk berpuisi tiba...macam2 buli keluar :)

Six Month Of Length

Six month of length
There my broken heart lay
Very deeply pierced within
Wounded to heal no more

What is the meaning of life IF...
....my soul refused to be comforted
....my heart has ceased to ring a melody
....my mind has lost its sanity
....my strength has vanished to nothingness

Let the witch place a curse on that night
Erase it never to exist
Then I wouldn't have drunk from that cup of deception
Of folly and silliness of words
If only....

Could it be a blessing in disguise?
By all means indeed
For there is a rainbow after the rain
At the end of the six month of length

Mimie
September 2010.

P/S: Life can only be understood looking backward, but it must be lived forward

Starting Afresh

2010-10-01T09:18:00.003+08:00

I know it's not the new year yet. It's only first of October. Still four months more to go to 2011. But I believe it's never too early neither too late to make new resolutions and start all over again. We can always have it now or then as long as we still have breath coming through our nostrils. As for me, I choose to mark today as my new beginning towards a more competitive attitude to struggle for what is ahead and press forward towards the goal to win the prize of the upward call.

In order for me to begin for a fresh new start, for a better one hopefully, I've found out that I need to get my "mind overhauled" daily which I never thought of being really needed before. I need to unlearn loads of unnecessary stuffs which are no longer relevant or are better to live without. How? These include having a certain period of peaceful getaway occasionally, separating or disconnecting or limiting my involvement with anything/anyone that do not support positive growth of my mind and forgiving and forgetting whatever grievances I have against another.

I know it wouldn't be easy to unlearn what we have learned for so long especially the negative ones. Trying to undo them is almost like attempting the impossible. But it's a must thing to do and we can only do it by the aid of a Higher Being, provided that we are willing to be obedient and teachable. Don't you wish to be naive again concerning evil things my friends? It's time to start afresh!

Keep Going!

2010-07-28T16:37:00.003+08:00

Hi rakan2 bloggers...I'm back!

Lama sungguh blog ini terbiar dan tidak diupdate...so sorry. Sudah lama ingin diupdate sebenarnya namun apakan daya, halangan tidak habis2 datang menghalang....well, the truth is I was very ill for many many weeks (months) and almost died but God had mercy on me to spare me sorrow upon sorrow...and here I am now, thankfully still alive and eager to press forward no matter what tragedy befalls me.

Someone said to me, "Life is what you make it and in order for it to count you must step forward and be all that you can be. You can't let trials and hardship stop you and get you down!". True enough...nothing in this world can stop us and get us down if we choose to keep our step forward, not backward neither remain idle! So, keep going forward people!

I've been reading a lot of books lately including those of Norman Vincent Peale's, a very inspiring motivator ever! Go and find his books yourself and see if you not gonna agree with me :D.

I still have a lot more to say here but my level of energy is still not so permissive...will write more as soon as I gain my total strength back.

There's A Time For Everything..

2010-04-21T19:46:00.000+08:00

Been very busy these days. Almost zero time for blogging and doing other less important things. Of course I do miss writing and sharing stories, ideas, news with friends on blogs, fbook etc but I just don't have the luxury of time to do all these activities for the time being. To make things worse, my celcom broadband line pun tersangatlah teruk :( ...hmmm...

I wish I have more time and energy to do many many more than what I can do now...anyway, whatever my or your wishes are...it's always comforting to remember that there's always a time for everything...just keep going on and be patient!

See you guys. Take care.

LOVE BETWEEN TWO HEARTS (II): EVERYDAY I LOVE YOU

2010-02-02T21:06:00.003+08:00

It's the MONTH OF LOVE again...as usual I always love February (and of course January too). These are the months when I normally feel more energetic, full of enthusiasm and hopeful. I don't know why exactly but I guess it has to do with the consciousness that I'm at the beginning of the year, at the beginning of something new and I'm just excited about it. Hopefully this positive spirit of mine will remain with me towards the end of the year.

Valentine's Day is just around the corner...a day to 'extra' love one another. And me, 2 or 3 days from now I'll be moving to somewhere and therefore will be away for maybe 2 or 3 weeks if not months, not sure yet. Until everything is ok and I get my broadband ready, I won't be seeing you guys for some time. So before I go off, I've decided to share my thoughts again on love between two hearts (II), a continuation of my previous entry, Love Between Two Hearts (I).

Everyday I Love You (EILY)...yes, you're right. It's a title of a song by Boyzone, released maybe somewhere between late 90s and early millenium...can't remember when exactly but not a new song on the block for sure. I think everyone on Utarafm.net and SAM knows that I'm a fan of this song :D. They know this is my lagu wajib because everytime I make my song request, I always request for this same song over and over again. In fact, this song has been my favorite since 10 years back. I never get bored listening to it and guess will always love this song till the end of my life...hehe. Why aaahh...there are some reasons for it actually.

Firstly, yeah I love the melody and the accompaniment...particularly the sound of the piano being played at the beginning and ending parts of the song...it sounds very soothing to me. Secondly, no doubt I love the lyrics. It reflects deep love, happiness and appreciation someone has for her/his lover. Every word in the lyrics is expressed in such a meaningful, thoughful and loving way. And I especially love the expression of EILY itself because to me that's just how love between two hearts should be. Love should be felt, expressed and shared everyday, in every beat of the hearts.

Thirdly, this song means a lot to me, personally. The sentimental value of it just couldn't be replaced by any other song out there. The sweet memory of realizing that I'm loved by someone whom I can love back as much as the other person does is just fantastic. No wonder the writer of the lyrics said this line...you'll never live until you love with all your heart and soul. And yes, real love should be lived with all your heart and soul. Loving someone half-heartedly brings you nowhere. It's pointless. Now, I'm not talking about feeling alone. It's about EVERYTHING you have. Guided by the right principle, you must be willing to give everything of you for the sake of your loved one. I know it's no easy to do this but loving with all our heart and soul in other words means self-sacrificing love. Instead of thinking what's the best for me, you choose to think what's the best for him/her first. Despite the fact that you really want to spend the rest of your life with him/her, you let him go any way, knowing that he has to go for his sake and not yours - that's self-sacrificing love. How pathetic to hear that many lovers especially young lovers today when threaten by the possibility of breaking-up, they usually use this abusive statement "I cannot live without you...I can't bear losing you, I'll surely die...etc" in order to make thier partner stay in the relationship. Maturedly speaking, to me that's not love at all. That is being selfish.

One more element of loving with all our heart and soul a.k.a self-sacrificing love is to always live life to the fullest, happily and hatred-free because you can't bear seeing your loved one gets hurt in knowing that you live a miserable life due to his/her faults or betrayal, due to separation, or whatsoever. Stop being a victim of self-pity. Stop blaming your lover for your misery. That's not love. That is being selfish!

Last but not least, never cease to love for love never fails. If you have been hurt, forgive. If you have to let your most beloved one go, do it because of love; self-sacrifcing love.

To all my friends: Happy Valentine's day in advance. Be happy and smile always. Love is a marvelous gift. Accept it. See it. Hear it. Smell it. Taste It...live it with all your heart and soul! Really living!

p/s: When I say everyday I love you...I really mean it. I mean I love you EVERYDAY -I loved you yesterday, I love you today, shall continue to love you tomorrow, forever and always :D

Till we meet again...

Lots of love,

Mimie.

My Special Tribute To Yb Anita Baranting

2010-01-11T14:32:00.002+08:00

I didn't plan to write and publish this on the net at first but the unconditional love that has been lavished on me is just too much to keep that my heart is overflowed and thus can't stop myself from sharing it with you my friends because who knows it might positively inspire someone's else life in one way or another.

Let me begin with a brief reflection of the past first.

2009...

The first eight months were fantastic months for me. Those were the times when I laughed all the day long...was over the moon all the time. In short, it was indeed a blooming season for me.

Unfortunately, the last four months of the year turned drastically to the other way around. It was a "Months of Sorrow - full of tears and pain". Those months were marked with feeling of being betrayed, rejected and treated unfairly. Suddenly, the whole world around me seemed to be merciless. Grace was hardly found anywhere. The long forgotten feeling of unworthiness once again haunted me, scared me to death.

8^th & 9^th January 2010

Just when I feel I am worthless and of no value to anyone (except to my own family), God sent someone as loving as YB Anita to show me that He cares for me, He loves me unconditionally. Frankly speaking, I never met YB personally before. I may never have the chance to see her personally if not because she herself initiated the effort to come and visit me at home. Since she knew in prior that I was not in favor of too many visitors coming to see me at the same time, so she came alone (I said alone because she came without her bodyguard, PA nor secretary), only accompanied by her daughter-in-law. Without any formal protocol, it was indeed a truly friendly visit, a very humble approach. From that simple beginning, she ended up spending 1 day + 1 night time with me :D.

Just when I feel I am nothing but a burden to most people, YB made me feel truly important and special in one's eyes. She brought me to a special place to see a special individual for a special reason...hehe. Everything was special indeed. She gave me the best when I least deserved it. With her packed and heavy schedule as a 'wakil rakyat', she could still spare one specific time for me - I mean for me and me alone -, not for 1 or 2 hours only but for 1 day + 1 night...very impressive!

But above all....the most meaningful part of it was the love she expressed not by words but by her tender merciful action that touched every impulse of my heart...the concerned look, the sincere prayers, the loving touches, the comforting hugs, the sacrifice of her time, energy, $$$ and everything made me feel like a very special friend of her...no, it's even deeper than that actually...frankly, it feels more like a mother-daughter kind of relationship. Honestly, deep down in my heart I didn't remember her treating me like a friend because I was actually treated like a beloved daughter of a caring and loving mother. No gap of position or rank, just unconditional love.

Those precious moments she willingly and happily spent with me, not by my request but out of her own initiative, made me feel really human, really living! That particular experience has somehow challenged my long distorted view of love between human beings and gratefully prompted me to look into a new different perspective of life –of the reality of an unconditional love. I must say the whole experience of being treated and loved in that way gives an amazing therapeutic effect on me. Thank you so much YB. I love you.

2010...I'm finally seeing there's a new ray of hope....a renewed hope in the All Merciful Creator.

Therefore my friend, treat others just as you want to be treated. Show some kindness to someone in need today and you'll be amazed just how much difference it can make to that person. God bless everyone.

Note: Pemimpin yang berjiwa rakyat? No doubt...YES, SHE IS.

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-25T11:28:00.004+08:00

It's Christmas day. A day of giving and loving. Don't forget to give these free gifts away:

To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
- Oren Arnold

Have a blessed Christmas my friends! God bless everyone.

Love Between Two Hearts (I)

2009-12-15T14:19:00.003+08:00

Thanks be to God, I'm able to be back...at last.

Maaf kepada sahabat2 yang selalu berkunjung ke sini tetapi disambut dengan kesunyian dan rumah yang kosong. Dalam lama saya berdiam, rupa-rupanya masih ramai yang tetap memberikan sokongan dan menanti-nantikan 'kepulangan'ku. Masih ramai yang sayang pula ni...hehe. Thanks my friends.

Bagi yang tertanya-tanya ke mana menghilangnya Mimie...don't worry. I'm still here and still alive :D. Walaupun last few entries saya dulu mungkin berbunyi sedih dan tertekan tetapi itu bukan alasan untuk saya berputus asa. Walaupun agak lama dalam retreat mode tetapi one thing I can assure you all, "I'm bad at giving up". Darah perjuangan yang mengalir dalam tubuh tidak mungkin berhenti selagi bernyawa. Hidup memang tidak semestinya mudah setiap saat tetapi kekuatan untuk menghadapi kesukaran juga tidak kurang hebatnya tersedia bagi mereka yang mencarinya dari Sumber yang tepat. Maksudnya, tidak ada sesiapa pun di dunia akan dapat dikalahkan oleh cabaran jika kita belajar untuk melihat cabaran itu dari perspektif yang lebih besar daripada cabaran itu sendiri. Cabaran hanyalah satu platform untuk kita lebih mengenal kelemahan kita dan bangkit bangun kepada tingkat kehidupan yang lebih tinggi, lebih baik dari sebelumnya. But with one condition, NEVER GIVE UP...berehat seketika jika perlu tapi jangan berhenti berjuang.

Adess...panjang lebar pula mukadimah saya...actually as the title above implied, this entry is meant to speak about love (yang pernah saya pending sebelum ini). Sebelum diteruskan, minta maaf kalau pembaca2 terganggu dengan bahasa campur2 saya kali ini sebab memang 'rujak' bahasa yang ada dalam otak saya sekarang...huhuhu.

Love between two hearts (man and woman only)...hmmm...what am I supposed to say about this? Since this entry is written a few days before my special friend's wedding day, I hope she can accept this as my online wish and gift for her wedding for she knows I couldn't make it to her big day which am totally upset with. Hopefully and pray-fully everything will be fine and blessed on that day.

To me, to love and being loved is one of the greatest wonderful experiences human beings have ever been privileged with. The ecstasy of feelings that love can bring is unique and can't be found anywhere unless you're in love. No wonder people came up with those sayings "tidur tak lena, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah"...and weirdly enough, it's literally true...hahaha. If anyone is right now experiencing or about to experience this enigma...I advise you, enjoy the moment to the fullest because it won't stay that way forever. In real world, true love doesn't always appear as easy as the tale famous line "they live happily ever after". When the first passion and excitement has faded away, real life with real challenges will take place. In this sense, love becomes a blend of laughter and cries which undoubtedly not easy to go through unless we are truly committed to each other. There must be a right balance between these two souls. Both should have an equal sense of desire and effort to make the relationship lasts till the end. Yes, disagreements may occur along the way, and the more we fight the more we see the faults, imperfectness, and all the not-so-smooth surface of our partner's character but I guess that's just how real love should be. To be fully committed to a partner means to learn to accept his/her imperfectness because you want to regardless of what negative messages your feeling is shouting inside you. Again, it's never easy to do this but it's well worth the risk.

To be in love never means no more cries. There are times when loving truly brought pain and heartache. That's a normal reaction of our wounded ego. When trapped under this terrible spell, I guess there's no other better way to be out of it than to keep silence and take time to see the whole issue from a calmer and clearer minded, detached from emotional influence. Spend some time in prayer. By doing this, I personally think we'll be given the power to humble our wounded ego. Then only we'll realize that peace of mind begins with forgiveness. It's not about how much pain our partner causes us due to unfulfilled/broken promises, etc, but it's about how much and how many times are we willing to forgive each time after being hurt. 70X7 times? Think about it :D

Nanti saya sambung...penat menaip...hehe

Just A Short Note

2009-11-03T16:43:00.007+08:00

Terima kasih kepada semua sahabat2 maya yang sering menitipkan pesan2/komentar2 yang baik di sini, juga setinggi penghargaan di atas doa2 kalian untuk kesejahteraan saya dan keluarga. Semoga Tuhan memberkati kalian semua.

Just a short reminder for me and for everyone...

Anyone can carry his burden,

however hard, until nightfall.

Anyone can do his work,

however hard, for one day.

Anyone can live

SWEETLY, PATIENTLY, LOVINGLY, PURELY,

till the sun goes down

and this is all life really means.

- Robert Louis Stevenson

P/S: Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.

Get Well Soon Mama..

2009-10-19T15:08:00.005+08:00

I'm back. Feeling a bit better today. Still unable to type more than I could bear but will try my best to share a couple of encouraging lines here...

Hampir 2 minggu berlalu RL sunyi sepi tanpa suara tuan rumah...yes, as i have informed you all earlier my long absence was due to my unstable health condition, both physically and emotionally. I admit those 2 weeks and even up to now were very tough days for me to go through. I fell very ill and was depressed with almost everything and everyone around me. I was easily irritated and feeling gloomy and blue all the time...nasib baik 'my beloved best friend' sabar dan tahan dengan my unpredictable swings of mood time2 darurat begini...thanks dear for being a very understanding friend of mine :D.

Walaupun cabaran yang saya (dan keluarga) tanggung selama dua minggu ini bukan bertambah ringan, bahkan bertambah mencabar namun I truly learn a lot! I feel much better now not because my (health) problems have been solved but rather because of the peace that dwells in my heart in spite of the painful trial that me and my family have to go through now. In a blink of an eye, many 'bad' things happened in rows lately. Firstly, keadaan kesihatan saya sangat merosot...dan pastinya itu membuatkan bapa, mama dan family susah hati. Kemudian, soon after that dad was admitted to the hospital for 3 days because of anemia dan sedikit pendarahan dalam usus. Mama and my eld. sister took care of dad while there. Lepas tu, on the day dad keluar dari hospital, mama's father (mendiang KK Gaul B Majun) gave up his last breath and died on the ninth of October 2009. Belum habis berkabung dengan kepergian grandpa...four days after the funeral (last Thursday), all in a sudden, Mama diserang stroke yang menyebabkan separuh badan (sebelah kanan) lumpuh. Masih dirawat di QE Hospital hingga kini. She can't get up on her own. Can't talk too. Cannot even eat through the mouth. She can only eat using the tube that plugged in through her nose goes directly to the stomach. Pity mama...

Mula2 menerima semua hakikat ini....I was so devastated! I felt crushed and became more depressed. But after a lot of praying...akhirnya saya belajar sesuatu yang sangat berharga. Seperti 'dipukul' oleh sesuatu yang sangat menyakitkan, saya sedar bahawa di saat berat seperti sekarang, saya sepatutnya menjadi lebih kuat daripada selalu. Seakan baru sedar dari mimpi yang panjang, saya melihat 'kebodohan' membiarkan diri dalam kemurungan kerana perkara2 yang berada di luar daripada kemampuan saya untuk mengawalnya...I've been telling myself this...

When things are out out of our control, worry is futile. Have faith in God!

All my siblings turn to me and keep telling me "jangan sedih sangat...jaga kesihatan" because they know sadness and depression are great 'pantang' for my illness. I tell them...don't worry, i'll be strong....yess...I'll be strong for mama.

All I hope and pray now is for mama to get well and have her normal health back. May the good Lord grant my(our) prayers. I know mama is strong just like me...and I believe both of us will be able to get up and walk side by side again..very soon...I promise...I'll do everything I can to be healthy again...if not for myself, it's for mama.

Be strong everyone no matter how tough your life is...enjoy your happy moment because it will not stay long, appreciate your every challenging hours too because it will not stay forever either.

Love and Relationship - pending

2009-10-08T15:47:00.003+08:00

Been in silence for almost 2 weeks by now. Actually I have lots of things to write on here but just not in the right mood at the moment. I've been out of energy and terribly not well these days. Kinda dizzy and lethargic. I promised a friend to share my write-up on love and relationship but even this one need to be put off also....so sorry my friend for keeping you to wait some more.

To all RL readers, visitors...thanks for you endless support. Will resume blogging soon when I regain my health back. Wish you all the best of luck, health and happiness.

Being A Bookworm Again!

2009-09-16T23:03:00.005+08:00

Nothing much to write this week. Not because I'm running out of ideas....not exactly for sure. It just that I'm having my most enjoyable time with something that I've forsaken for quite a long time, so couldn't get rid of it for the time being. You must be guessing what is it actually I'm up to...hehe...something very special of course. Well, getting myself back acquainted to my long forgotten passion was not that difficult as I had predicted it earlier. In fact, reading has always been my all-time favorite hobby since childhood up to now. But due to many constraints, I almost lost the passion of really reading for these past few months. Being over occupied with other commitments made me to put reading off for a long time, which I really regret it by now.

Thank goodness, I've found my way back...huhuhu....so, it's time to be on silent mode again. Sometimes we need to be still in order to be refilled and refueled before we can go on to the next level of life's journey. Before I can share anything more valuable here and on my other blogs, let me polish my sense of 'hearing' and thinking through reading first.

Come go with me to the world of books!

....was thinking of writing an entry with similiar topic but different content on SAM tapi...hmmm...bisuk2 sajalah...:)

Happiness is....?

2009-09-09T22:33:00.008+08:00

Many people crave for a happy life. In fact, all living homosapiens either consciously or non-consciously has indeed been living for the quest of the one and only, the 9-letters word called HAPPINESS. Unfortunately, many –or perhaps I should say mostly – people has failed in finding the way to real happiness. Why? Simply because they have failed in choosing the right path that would lead to the right destination in the first place. Many turn to money, health, wealth, friends, music, job and even relationship for happiness but finally ending up in frustration when struck by reality that those things can make them happy (extremely happy at times), but can’t give true fulfillment. Money and wealth can’t love you back. Health decreases in quality as the years slip by. Friends can’t give you hope. Love can go sour and bitter. Music and job are pretty impersonal, in the long run.

So, what is happiness then? Different person has different view on what happiness is. What is your personal definition of happiness?

Part 3 - Determining The Right Choice

2009-09-06T19:34:00.004+08:00

Salam sejahtera. Kita masih lagi berada di bulan merdeka, jadi rasanya belum terlambat untuk saya mengucapkan Salam Merdeka 1Malaysia. Salam perjuangan kepada sahabat2 setia RL. Sesungguhnya kunjungan, sokongan dan komen2 positif rakan2 sekalian amat berharga dan bermakna untuk menemani langkah perjuanganku yang belum selesai. Terima kasih sahabat2ku!

Menyambung kembali entry lalu saya yang agak lama tertunda, selain 3 panduan yang sudah saya kongsikan tentang bagaimana membuat pilihan yang betul, masih ada 2 panduan tambahan yang akan saya huraikan sebagai penyudah entry "Determining The Right Choice".

Panduan 4 - Meminta nasihat dan pandangan daripada ibubapa/orang dewasa yang matang dan 'spiritual'. Apabila kita harus membuat satu pilihan yang besar, yang akan mempengaruhi seluruh hidup kita sepanjang hayat, kita haruslah meminta nasihat daripada ibubapa dan beberapa orang yang matang. Tetapi matang saja tidak cukup, orang itu juga haruslah spiritual kerana kata2 seorang yang tidak mengenal Tuhan pasti berbeza dengan kata2 seorang yang rohaninya teguh kerana dia bukan berbicara atas kebijaksanaan sendiri tetapi oleh kebijaksanaan dari 'atas'. Harus diingat bahawa meminta nasihat daripada seorang yang tidak spiritual adakalanya membahayakan kerana besar kemungkinan nasihat itu akan membawa kita kepada keputusan yang salah. Ketika meminta nasihat daripada beberapa orang yang matang dan spiritual, kita harus mendengar persamaan dan perbezaan pendapat mereka. Jika hampir rata2 mengatakan pilihan A adalah yang terbaik, pertimbangkanlah nasihat mereka itu sewajarnya. Pasti ada sebab logik dan baik yang menyebabkan suara mereka mempunyai irama yang senada. Walaupun kadang2 keputusan terbaik boleh jadi datang dari suara minoriti tapi biasanya itu jarang terjadi dan kalaupun terjadi harus ada satu panduan terakhir yang kita mesti pertimbangkan sebelum kita 'confirm'kan keputusan/pilihan muktamad kita.

Panduan 5 - Adakah hati kita benar-benar damai dengan keputusan/pilihan yang kita buat? Sekalipun kita memenuhi semua kriteria yang saya sebutkan sebelum ini namun jika hati kita tetap tidak damai dengan pilihan yang kita buat, pasti ada sesuatu yang silap ketika proses membuat pilihan itu dilakukan. Contohnya, seorang pelajar memilih jurusan kedoktoran sebagai bidang pengajian dan seterusnya akan menjadi kariernya kerana didorong oleh keluarga untuk memilih profesion tersebut. Walaupun pelajar ini 'excel' dalam pengajian perubatan tetapi hatinya sentiasa tidak tenang dan tidak ada kedamaian yang sejati. Akhirnya, pelajar tersebut menukar jurusan pengajian kepada bidang keagamaan. Setelah itu, barulah dia dapat merasakan kedamaian yang sebenar di dalam hatinya. Ini sekadar satu ilustrasi, masih banyak contoh lain yang boleh kita temui seperti dalam memilih pasangan hidup.

One last reminder...

Belajarlah untuk mendengar suara 'kecil' di dalam hati anda. Jangan abaikan rasa hati yang berat(tidak tenteram) untuk meneruskan langkah kerana itu mungkin petanda bahawa anda sedang berjalan di track yang salah. Apabila anda sudah membuat sesuatu keputusan dan mulai melangkah mengikuti arah itu tetapi anda masih lagi tidak merasakan satu kedamaian jiwa di dalam Tuhan, maka itu adalah saat untuk berhenti melangkah dan berpatah balik. Berpatah baliklah ke tempat di mana hati anda menemui kedamaian di dalam Dia. After all, jika benar anda telah membuat keputusan dan pilihan yang tepat mengikut kehendak Dia, pasti Dia akan memeteraikannya bersama kedamaian jiwa.

Selamat membuat keputusan yang tepat! Selamat meneruskan perjuangan!

Life Is a Battlefield

2009-08-27T15:33:00.003+08:00

The word "LIFE" seems to be very attractive to me today. Either life is just borrowed from ABOVE or life is a journey...i have no doubt about these statements. Just to add another variation of the meaning of life, i believe life itself is also a battlefield.

Would you agree if I say...Whether we want it or not, we have no choice but to face life's daily battles - both within and without. All right, I guess most of you would be in tune with me here but how if I say...Unlike the ordinary battlefield, this one is not a place to find out who's the strongest against another fellow human beings, rather a place to test how much we care for one another?

How sad it is to see that many of us today think the other way around! It just not natural for us to love others more than ourselves or at least as we love ourselves. Love is easy when the other person is lovable but not an enemy! Love is easy when the other person is profitable and desirable to the visible eyes but not a disabled one!

Sometimes I wonder why most people care more for the outside rather than the inside. Many people forget that life is an opportunity to show kindness, not selfishness. That's why I call life as a battlefield because it's a battle in a sense that we are to war with our own selfishness in order to think and care more of others and less of ourselves.

Part 2 - Determining The Right Choice

2009-08-24T23:04:00.004+08:00

Jam menunjukkan pukul 11.09 p.m....sekejap lagi tengah malam...Selamat malam pengunjung setia RL.

Di malam yang sunyi ini, saya mau cuba2 menyambung entri yang lalu tapi macam tiada idea pula yang muncul dalam otak. Mungkin otak saya teramat kepenatan kerana terlampau 'sibuk bekerja' beberapa waktu kebelakangan ini...hehehe. Apapun, untuk tidak menghampakan pengunjung setia RL...mari kita berkongsi beberapa perkara tentang bagaimana membuat keputusan yang betul...setakat yang mampu difikir malam ini.

First of all, saya akui bahawa saya bukanlah seorang yang 'pakar' dalam topik ini. Saya sendiri juga banyak kali gagal dalam membuat keputusan yang betul. Namun, orang bilang kita belajar dari pengalaman dan sesungguhnya pengalaman adalah guru yang paling efektif untuk mengajar kita tentang hidup yang penuh dengan pilihan. Bukan itu saja, kita juga boleh menimba ilmu melalui pembelajaran sendiri samada secara lisan mahupun bertulis dan belajar dari pengalaman orang lain. Oleh itu, tips2/panduan yang bakal saya kongsikan di sini adalah hasil dapatan saya setelah melalui ketiga-tiga proses yang telah saya sebutkan di atas.

Semua kita mengakui bahawa memang bukan mudah membuat keputusan yang betul tapi jika kita membuatnya berdasarkan landasan yang betul, saya percaya lambat atau cepat, akhirnya kita pasti akan mampu memilih pilihan yang betul dan terbaik.

Panduan 1 - Saya senada dengan suara sdr Umar dan Ison dalam komen mereka kepada entri saya sebelum ini bahawa yang pertama dan terutama dalam membuat keputusan ialah pilihan itu harus benar dan tidak bertentangan dengan standard Tuhan. Apapun kepercayaan kita, saya yakin agama kita masing-masing ada menetapkan mana yang benar dan salah di hadapanNya. Jadi, soalan pertama yang harus kita tanya dalam membuat keputusan ialah adakah pilihan yang bakal saya pilih ini tidak bertentangan dengan mana2 perintah/hukum yang diberikanNya kepada manusia? Hanya keputusan yang benar di hadapanNya membawa kebaikan. Selain ini, keputusan kita pasti akan membawa kepada kekecewaan dan kesia-siaan.

Panduan 2 - Apabila kita mahu membuat keputusan yang benar di hadapanNya bermakna kita juga harus sudah terlebih dahulu menetapkan dalam hati bahawa kita mahu menuruti apapun kehendakNya sekalipun itu terasa seolah-olah menyakitkan bagi diri manusiawi kita yang lemah. Contohnya, seorang lelaki muda jatuh cinta dan mahu mengahwini seorang wanita yang bergelar isteri kepada orang lain. Untuk menolak keinginan hatinya, pasti pemuda ini akan berasa sangat sakit dan kecewa tapi tidak meneruskan niatnya adalah satu-satunya jalan yang benar dan direstui olehNya. Akhirnya, keputusan yang terbaik ialah 'mengorbankan' keinginan sendiri demi memilih satu keputusan yang tidak bertentangan dengan panduan dari Yang Lebih Bijaksana. Memang sakit tapi itulah yang terbaik!

Panduan 3 - Doakan perkara itu selalu. Sebagai seorang yang mempunyai kepercayaan agama, kita percaya kepada kuasa doa. Langkah ini sangat penting kerana apabila kita sedang berhadapan dengan persoalan2 dan pilihan dalam hidup, seringkali ada 'suara2' jawapan yang bukan berasal dari Yang Maha Tahu. Saya pasti anda bersetuju jika saya katakan selain suara baik, suara 'jahat' juga sentiasa cuba mempengaruhi hati nurani kita setiap saat. Di saat kita berdoa, kita secara rasmi sedang meminta Tuhan untuk menguasai keadaan dan ini dapat mendiamkan suara2 yang bukan berasal dariNya supaya fikiran kita lebih jelas untuk membuat keputusan yang betul. Jika kita gagal mendoakan perkara itu selalu maka 'suara2' itu akan menguasai fikiran kita dan membuatkan kita takut dan bingung membuat keputusan yang betul. Yang salah pun nampak macam betul saja.

Masih ada beberapa tips dalam minda tapi cukup sampai di sini dulu buat kali ini. So sleepy....zzzZZZ.

Gud nite everyone.

To be continued...

Determining The Right Choice: An Introduction

2009-08-18T22:37:00.002+08:00

Salam sejahtera kepada sahabat2 yang setia mengunjungi Really Living (RL). Terima kasih kerana sentiasa memberi sokongan yang padu kepada RL untuk terus 'hidup' memberi suntikan motivasi kepada sesiapa saja yang sudi membaca coretan2 yang dihidangkan di sini (juga untuk motivasi diri sendiri sebenarnya).

Sebenarnya, saya sangat teruja dengan sokongan dan request anda semua yang menggalakkan saya supaya lebih rajin menulis dan berkongsi kata2 yang baik di ruangan kecil (besar?) ini. Komen2 yang anda tinggalkan di ruangan 'comments' dan 'interactive corner' sesungguhnya amat saya hargai walaupun mungkin kadang2 saya agak slow memberi respon yang dinanti-nantikan....so sorry, will try to be more proactive from now on.

Entry kali ini adalah lanjutan daripada entry sebelum ini, Antara Dua Hati. Masih lagi memperkatakan tentang pilihan. Perkongsian ini adalah untuk memenuhi permintaan pembaca budiman yang meminta saya supaya menulis tentang bagaimana membuat pilihan terbaik atau membuat keputusan yang betul. Satu persoalan yang sangat baik dan membuka minda kita untuk berfikir menggali jawapan/panduan yang betul agar kita tidak tersilap langkah atau sekurang-kurangnya dapat meminimakan kesilapan dalam membuat keputusan.

Membuat atau menentukan pilihan terbaik memang bukan mudah apalagi kalau banyak faktor-faktor luar yang perlu kita pertimbangkan termasuklah faktor2 abstrak dan subjektif berkaitan 'menjaga' perasaan orang lain yang mungkin terlibat secara langsung dalam proses ini. Tetapi, seperti yang saya (dan pembaca) katakan sebelum ini, adalah mustahil untuk kita menyenangkan hati semua orang. Adakalanya kita 'terpaksa melukai' hati orang lain untuk membuat keputusan yang betul. Adakalanya kita 'terpaksa berani' menghadapi risiko dituduh mementingkan diri akibat daripada pilihan yang kita buat. Tetapi persoalannya, betulkah pilihan yang kita buat itu adalah yang terbaik? Bagaimana untuk memastikannya?....nantikan sambungannya minggu depan.

Berhati-hatilah agar tidak 'melukai' hati orang lain sebelum anda betul-betul sudah memastikan bahawa pilihan yang anda pilih itu adalah keputusan yang betul.

Antara Dua Hati

2009-08-03T21:37:00.002+08:00

Antara dua hati. Di persimpangan dilemma. Satu keadaan yang seringkali memeningkan. Orang yang berada dalam situasi ini memang hidup tak tenang. Keadaan ini berlaku apabila kita harus memilih satu di antara dua, tiga, empat atau lebih pilihan yang ada. Tidak kiralah apa jenis pilihan yang perlu dibuat, dari yang remeh seperti memilih menu makanan, memilih pakaian yang mahu dibeli, hinggalah kepada perkara yang besar seperti memilih pasangan hidup! Sungguh membingungkan. Lagi parah kalau tersilap pula membuat pilihan…memang sakit.

Tidak dinafikan hidup di dunia adalah tentang membuat pilihan. Setiap saat kita harus membuat pilihan. Bahkan bernafas saja pun juga satu pilihan. Jika kita memilih untuk berehat bernafas selama setengah jam (atau mungkin kurang dari itu) alamat…kiawau sakup la jawabnya. Dalam hidup ini, kita harus berani dan bijak mengambil keputusan di atas pilihan-pilihan yang ada. Ada pilihan yang mudah diputuskan, namun ada juga pilihan yang sukar dibuat. Apapun situasinya, apapun kondisinya, kita masih harus mengambil keputusan. Jangan biarkan diri selamanya berada di persimpangan dilemma.

Namun, ada jenis manusia yang tidak mahu mengambil keputusan dengan alasan seperti:

1) Tidak tahu atau belum cukup informasi untuk mengambil keputusan – baik tetapi harus ada hadnya
2) tidak mahu orang lain tersinggung/disakiti dengan keputusan yang bakal dibuat ataupun takut mengambil keputusan yang salah dan berbeza dari kebanyakan orang
3) Mahu bersikap neutral yang akhirnya terpaksa berada di posisi atas pagar
4) Ingin menyenangkan hati semua pihak
5) Takut diolok-olok
6) Beranggapan bahawa tidak membuat pilihan atau keputusan juga adalah satu pilihan

Kelima-lima alasan terakhir di atas membuatkan ramai orang takut membuat keputusan. Ini adalah fobia yang sering menghantui manusia kerana terlalu obsess mahu menyenangkan hati semua orang. Hakikatnya, adalah mustahil untuk menyenangkan dan memuaskan hati 100% semua manusia.

Orang yang takut mengambil keputusan adalah orang yang tidak akan pernah berhasil dalam hidupnya. Ini kerana langkah pertama dari keberhasilan adalah mengambil keputusan. Mungkin adakalanya kita mengambil keputusan yang salah tetapi masih lebih baik memperbaiki keputusan yang salah daripada tidak ada yang mahu diperbaiki langsung kerana tidak pernah ada sikap/keputusan yang diambil. Bayangkan…Cermin boleh memberitahu kita apa yang tidak ‘ngam’ di wajah kita, tetapi cermin itu sendiri tidak akan pernah dapat mengubah/memperbaiki kecacatan di wajah kita tanpa kita memilih untuk bertindak melakukan sesuatu tentangnya.

Mahukah anda hidup tenang? Jangan 'mendua' hati! Make your choice.

Fireproof

2009-07-20T18:54:00.003+08:00

Facing the giant FIREPROOF....never leave your partner behind. It's about love - love between partners, between parents, between friends...between everyone.

I love this movie very much. Learn a lot from this. Here are some of the interesting philosophies of love & life I got from the movie....

1) Fireproof does not mean that the fire will never come but when it comes you'll be able to withstand it

2) Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. It's better to hold our tongue than to say something that you'll regret. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.

3) It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little or no motivation but love in its true essence is not based on feelings but the determination to show thoughtful action even when there seems to be no reward.

4) A woman is like a rose, if you treat her well she'll bloom, if you don't, she'll wilt.

....and many many more. Watch it for yourself. Pasti tidak sia2 duduk depan PC for 1 and a half hour.

A Gift of Love

2009-07-18T19:53:00.013+08:00

People say you'll never live until you love with all your heart and soul...

I received a very meaningful letter from my beloved brother yesterday. Just can't hold back my tears every time I read it. I call it love beyond compare because I can really feel it and it lives in me. Just wanna share some of the lines with you...

Dear Sister Mimie,

".....To be honest, I have this feeling, from the very beginning, that we are somehow inter-connected. Maybe because we are first cousin, but it's more than that I guess. I'm not boasting or putting myself at a greater position, but the spirit is really there. I think it has something to do with caring, responsibility, even deeper, a brotherly love. And with God, it's a great love.

I'm not always with you in person, but I can 'feel' you. I just know when you are crying and when you are laughing/smiling. I don't have all the answers of your every need, and there's nothing much I can do to deliver them to you. I only have my hands to put together, my legs to kneel down, and my mouth to pray for you.

My sister, don't give up. No matter what happen, be strong and be courageous. God must have good purposes in everything. There's always sky above the clouds where heaven lies. I love you my dear sis."

Thank you brother. I love you too.

I Will Sing by Don Moen....this song is especially dedicated to my beloved brother, Ison with a message "Whatever my lot, I will learn to sing, will learn to praise even in my darkest hour, through the sorrow and the pain because I know I'll never cry alone. Happy (belated) 33rd birthday. God bless you."

P/S: Kada rumasang ki brother tu minangan ku po published iti surat nu tanpa izin.

I Lost My Appetite...

2009-07-09T15:22:00.003+08:00

I lost my appetite these past few days...I mean appetite for blogging. Maybe this is a silent warning for me to get myself away from this virtual world for a while. Being surrounded by lots of nonsense and cheap stuffs enough to make me feel sick and fed up. Overdose of unhealthy thought supplements. Like bro Ison said....ogumu sinupot everywhere.

I need a peaceful break. Time to do total self-detoxification or else these things shall jeopardize the whole course of my life. Till then, see you and take care everyone.

H1N1 Semakin Menular?

2009-06-28T10:41:00.003+08:00

Mula2 kita hanya mendengar virus H1N1 atau Swine flu dari kejauhan dan merasa agak selamat kerana wabak itu terjadi di negara2 yang jauh daripada kawasan kita. Tetapi hari ini, kita tidak dapat menarik nafas lega lagi kerana H1N1 semakin dekat dan sudah berada di sekeliling kita, menular dengan pantas tanpa mengira jarak.

Pada minggu lalu kita dikejutkan dengan pengumuman 2 sekolah di Petaling Jaya yang ditutup akibat jangkitan dan penularan virus selesema babi di sekolah tersebut. Walaupun PJ masih agak jauh dari tempat kita tetapi dalam beberapa hari saja, kita sekali lagi disedarkan betapa jarak itu bukan pengukur yang selamat kerana virus H1N1 disahkan sudah menular di kawasan luar bandar dan bahkan di negeri kita sendiri. Berikut merupakan petikan kenyataan dari akhbar Berita Harian Online, 28 Jun 2009.

KUALA LUMPUR: Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Abdul Rahim 2, Kudat, Sabah, menjadi sekolah luar bandar pertama ditutup sehingga 1 Julai, berikutan jangkitan selesema babi (H1N1) menyebabkan 42 guru dikuarantin di rumah.

Ketiadaan tenaga pengajar yang dikuarantin sehingga 29 Jun depan menyebabkan pentadbiran sekolah menutup sekolah berkenaan walaupun Kementerian Kesihatan hanya mengarahkan dua kelas ditutup untuk kuarantin, Khamis lalu.

Timbalan Menteri Pelajaran, Datuk Dr Wee Ka Siong, berkata pihaknya memandang serius perkembangan yang berlaku di sekolah berkenaan dan akan meningkatkan pemantauan dari semasa ke semasa bagi menangani penularan virus H1N1 itu.

"Ini adalah sekolah luar bandar pertama disahkan positif H1N1. Kita mengambil langkah menutup sekolah walaupun kes membabitkan hanya seorang guru kerana guru lain dan kakitangan sekolah turut dikuarantin.

"Jawatankuasa Induk 3K (Keselamatan, Kebersihan dan Kesihatan) memandang serius perkara ini penyakit ini sudah menular ke kawasan pedalaman atau luar bandar," katanya pada sidang media selepas melawat Sekolah Jenis Kebangsaan Cina (SJKC) Jalan Davidson, di sini, semalam.

Turut dikuarantin di rumah, 76 murid dari dua kelas dan 10 kakitangan kerana menjadi kontak dekat kepada kes H1N1 ke-97. Lima belas kontak terdekat dengan mangsa membabitkan ahli keluarga dan rakan juga dikuarantin di rumah.

Sementara itu, sesi persekolahan Sekolah Jenis Kebangsaan Cina (SJKC) Jalan Davidson di sini, bermula semalam seperti biasa. Hampir semua murid, termasuk kes pertama murid disahkan positif virus H1N1 di sekolah berkenaan memulakan persekolahan seperti biasa.

Wee berkata, semua murid yang hadir diambil suhu badan oleh guru kelas masing-masing, dibantu pegawai Kementerian Kesihatan selain diarahkan membersihkan tangan sebelum berhimpun di dewan untuk sesi penerangan dan kesedaran mengenai H1N1.

"Pelajar (yang disahkan H1N1 sebelum ini) itu hadir hari ini (semalam). Beliau keluar dari hospital, Rabu lalu dan bebas daripada wabak berkenaan," katanya.

SJKC Jalan Davidson yang mempunyai 2,000 murid dan 100 kakitangan, ditutup seminggu bermula 19 Jun hingga 26 Jun berikutan tiga pelajarnya disahkan dijangkiti wabak H1N1.

Selain itu, Wee menegaskan semua penyertaan membabitkan guru dan murid ke luar negara perlu ditangguh atau dibatalkan sehingga wabak ini reda bagi mengelak penularan H1N1 yang lebih serius.

Katanya, guru atau murid yang baru pulang dari luar negara sama ada negara yang dijangkiti H1N1 atau tidak juga perlu memaklumkan kepada maka mereka perlu memastikan perintah kuarantin tujuh hari dipatuhi.

Nota: Hanya sekadar satu peringatan supaya kita sentiasa mengambil langkah berjaga2.... seorang anak saudara saya yang berasal dari Kg Talantang 1 masih dirawat di ICU hospital Queen Elizabeth sampai sekarang sejak beberapa minggu yang lalu kerana disahkan telah dijangkiti virus JE(Japanese B Encephalitis), sejenins virus yang juga berasal dari babi. Sama2 kita doakan agar anak ini akan pulih secepat mungkin.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T13:20:00.004+08:00

Buat bapa & mama,

Maafkan anakmu kerana masih gagal membahagiakanmu sehingga ke hari ini. Maafkan anakmu kerana masih gagal menyapu airmata dan menghentikan titisan peluh deritamu sampai saat ini. Maafkan anakmu kerana masih gagal untuk tidak membebanimu....maafkan anakmu kerana...hanya ini yang mampu kukatakan....MAAFKAN AKU.

Happy Father's day daddy. I love you.

PART 7 - An Epilogue: A Big "THANK YOU" To Everyone

2009-06-18T11:07:00.003+08:00

Salam ceria buat sahabat2ku di alam maya. Setinggi-tinggi penghargaan buat kalian semua kerana telah setia menemani saya menyusuri jejak pahit manis liku2 perjuangan hidup saya selama ini. Masih banyak sebenarnya yang belum saya ceritakan di sini tetapi cukuplah catatan sinopsis hidup saya berakhir sampai di sini dulu. Kalau berpeluang dan ada mood serta rezeki yang baik nanti saya akan ceritakan semuanya dalam satu siri novel yang lengkap. Sebenarnya sudah ada satu novel yang siap dan dalam proses penerbitan oleh DBP tapi saya masih belum berpuas hati dengan hasil karya saya itu kerana saya menulisnya dalam keadaan yang sangat tergesa-gesa dan banyak unsur2 fiksyen yang tidak menggambarkan kejadian yang sebenar. Lagipula, bahasa yang saya gunakan pun rojak sana sini....60% BM, 40% English...hehehe. Nantilah, kalau diizinkan olehNya, saya akan cuba menghasilkan karya yang lebih baik.

Semoga segala kisah yang sudah saya kongsikan di sini dapat memberi manfaat dan suntikan semangat baru kepada kita semua untuk meneruskan langkah yang seterusnya ke arah hidup yang lebih bermakna, cemerlang, gemilang and terbilang dunia dan akhirat!

Sekali lagi terima kasih tidak terhingga di atas sokongan dan komen2 baik kalian yang sungguh menghiburkan hati, mendorong, dan menguatkan saya hingga membolehkan catatan PART 1 to PART 6 dapat dikongsikan dengan jayanya.

Special gratitude for comentators:

Bro Ison, Nong, Umar, Illie, Uku(one moment), bro Mogoron, Sanguru, Uncle Nazri al-dusuni, Surinit, Miracle, David, Elly, Senjaliza, Tompinai, Uncle Kanil, Arya KK, Floyd KK, Puteri Hamidah and anonymous(?)

Sheera - thank you for delivering ur meaningful comment through the phone
Dawn dearie - You are an angel! Thank you for being available and faithful to accompany me to the hospital some time back. God bless you dear.

Last but not least, thank you Mick(LM) for being my best friend, for brightening my world with your thoughtfulness, for your smile and laughter that bring me sunshine and happiness. It's a love that I want to keep forever.

I thank God for you my friends....thank you....thank you and thank you. God bless you all.

PART 6 - There's No Reason To Be Sad...Don't Worry, Be Happy

2009-06-10T10:01:00.007+08:00

Salam sejahtera kepada pembaca2 budiman SAM & RL. Sesuai dengan ruangan 'Motivation' yang diberikan kepada saya, entry saya kali ini ingin meninggalkan sedikit kata2 motivasi kepada setiap pembaca yang pastinya tidak lari daripada menghadapi pelbagai cabaran berat dan sukar ditanggung saban hari. Entry ini juga adalah sambungan daripada kisah hidup saya yang sudah dipaparkan dalam blog peribadi saya Really Living sebelum ini.

Foto di atas adalah gambar terkini saya yang sedang duduk di wheelchair sambil sedang 'berceramah' di depan orang ramai. Seperti yang sudah saya kongsikan sebelum ini, sejak saya mulai sakit pada pertengahan tahun 2000, saya tidak pernah sembuh sepenuhnya daripada penyakit yang dihidapi. Sejak pertengahan tahun 2004 sehingga sekarang, wheelchair sudah menjadi sangat sinonim dengan hidup saya kerana inilah satu2nya mobility device yang membolehkan saya bergerak ke sana sini.

Ramai yang bertanya kepada saya, bagaimana saya menghadapi hidup sehari-harian dengan pergerakan yang sangat terhad. Bukan itu saja malah harus berperang dengan rasa sakit setiap saat. Tidakkah saya berputus asa? Jawapan saya....

Segala-galanya terletak pada kuasa minda yang diilhamkan oleh yang Maha Kuasa. Sekalipun tubuh badan saya sakit setiap saat tetapi saya tidak perlu 'tunduk' kepada rasa sakit itu dengan membiarkan minda saya turut jatuh sakit dan tidak berpengharapan. Kesakitan dan penderitaan yang saya tanggung memang sangat payah. Walaupun saya tahu masih ramai di luar sana yang mungkin menanggung penderitaan yang lebih berat dari saya tetapi cukuplah jika saya katakan kesakitan/penderitaan yang saya alami juga bukan kesakitan biasa2. Kalau saya memilih untuk berputus asa, saya sebenarnya sudah lama mati dari dulu lagi. Tetapi, syukurlah kerana dengan kekuatan yang diberikan oleh Tuhan, saya masih hidup sehingga hari ini dengan minda yang sangat positif dan HAPPY.

Dulu saya pernah berkhidmat sebagai guru di sekolah menengah tetapi terpaksa mengambil cuti yang sangat panjang sampai sekarang kerana saya sakit. Dulu, saya boleh bergerak bebas tanpa menyusahkan sesiapa, sekarang saya harus bergantung 24 jam kepada orang lain untuk melakukan segala sesuatu bagi saya. Dulu, saya boleh melakukan apa saja tanpa rasa sakit, sekarang dengan menaip entry ini saja pun sudah cukup membuatkan saya berasa sakit dan penat. Tetapi...di sebalik semua itu, satu perkara yang sentiasa indah untuk saya renungkan setiap hari ialah kata2 ini...

The happiest people in the world
are not those who have no problems
but the people who have learned to live
with those things that are less than perfect

Oleh itu, tidak ada satu pun sebab dan tidak ada alasan untuk kita berduka terus menerus walau apapun keadaan yang kita hadapi. Bagi anda yang sedang berduka, bersedih atau tenggelam dalam penderitaan, BANGKITLAH mengatasi kedukaan anda. Jangan cepat berputus asa. Anda boleh mengubah segalanya dengan berfikir positif. Don't worry, be happy!

More tips...

1) Sentiasa bersyukur - bukan setakat ketika kita menerima sesuatu yg baik tetapi juga ketika menerima sesuatu yg tidak menyenangkan
2) Tetaplah berdoa
3) Jangan melepaskan pegangan dan iman anda daripada apa yang anda percayai
4) Hargai kasih sayang yang diberikan oleh keluarga, sahabat dan orang2 sekeliling
5) Make friends...jangan memencilkan diri
6) Give more....berilah apa saja yang mampu diberi, jangan asyik mengharapkan untuk diberi(menerima) sekalipun anda berada dalam kondisi yang sukar
7) Jangan berdendam. Jangan menyimpan kesalahan orang lain dalam hati. Ampunilah mereka yang pernah menyakiti anda.
8) Love more and be lovable...oh ya...gambar di atas diambil ketika seorang best friend saya (juga ahli SAM yang lebih dikenali sebagai LM) datang melawat saya last week....gelap sikit sebab ambil gmbar guna hp ja...hehe.

That's it for today....HAVE A HAPPY DAY TO ALL!

PART 5 - Learning From Past Mistake

2009-05-31T17:54:00.006+08:00

Salam ceria kepada rakan2 bloggers yang setia menemani dan menceriakan hari2 saya di alam maya. Terima kasih kerana anda terus setia mengikuti kesinambungan cerita kisah hidup saya sehingga pada saat ini. Bagi anda yang baru saja berkunjung ke sini, paparan kisah kali ini adalah sambungan daripada catatan yang sudah saya published sebelum ini. Sebelum meneruskan catatan ini, sekali lagi saya ingin menitipkan nota bahawa keseluruhan kisah ini hanyalah sekadar satu perkongsian ikhlas dari saya untuk dijadikan pengajaran dan motivasi kepada kita semua agar sentiasa berfikiran positif, optimis dan tidak mudah berputus asa bila berhadapan dengan cabaran hidup yang berat. Selain itu, perkongsian ini juga adalah kerana tidak mahu menghampakan permintaan beberapa rakan2 yang ingin mengetahui apa, mengapa dan bagaimana saya menghadapi hidup seharian sebagai seorang yang wheelchair-bound.

Untuk membaca catatan kisah sebelum ini sila lihat senarai tajuk2 di bawah dan klik pada mana2 tajuk yang berkenaan:

1. PART 1 - Down The Memory Lane: The Good Old Days
2. PART 2 - Down The Memory Lane: My Early Life
3. PART 3 - A Tribute To My Beloved Brother, Dr. Nellson
4. PART 4 - Abusive Relationship - entry ada di bawah

Dalam entry saya PART 4, saya telah berkongsi sedikit cerita tentang abusive relationship yang pernah saya alami sehingga menjadi antara penyumbang utama mengapa saya jatuh sakit. Selain saya yang mengatakan ini, pendapat dari mereka yang arif tentang kesan tekanan mental kepada kesihatan fizikal turut menyokong kebenaran fakta tersebut. Mengapa saya katakan ini kerana banyak pendapat mengatakan "Mimie jatuh sakit dengan penyakit yang tidak dapat dikesan oleh hospital dan tidak ada ubat hospital kerana dia telah dibuat2 orang". Saya bukan menolak kemungkinan kenyataan yang seperti itu kerana "penyakit akibat dibuat2 orang" ini memang famous berlaku di mana2 terutama di Sabah. Tambahan pula, orang2 sekeliling mempunyai alasan yang kukuh mengapa kononnya saya telah terkena buatan orang. Please laa...saya bukan tidak percaya tetapi saya lebih percaya bahawa Yang Maha Kuasa itu jauh lebih powerful daripada apapun kuasa yang ada di dunia. Saya juga lebih percaya bahawa, "all things work together for good to everyone that loves God." Dan untuk itu, saya mahu supaya "dia yang pernah mendera" saya tahu bahawa saya sudah lama memaafkan dia dan saya tidak menyimpan apa2 perasaan dendam kepada dia, cuma permintaan dan doa saya ialah agar dia insaf dengan perbuatannya dan berhenti 100% daripada mendera orang lain.

Dalam entry PART 4 juga, saya tertarik dengan salah satu komen yang diberikan oleh seseorang yang tidak memperkenalkan identitinya tetapi dari tulisannya saya percaya dia pasti seseorang yang pernah mempunyai hubungan rapat dengan saya suatu ketika dulu (siapa aahh? Hmmm). Ini komen dia:

Brain is the center of nerves system; torture to the center effects the whole body coordination's.. You told me the story before, just didn't get it, why the only brightest girl that I ever know can't say ''NO" to the matters. Perhaps love is the most powerful 'things' influence bright people sanity.

First of all, saya ingin tegaskan bahawa mendera dan didera itu memang sangat tidak patut berlaku. Ia SALAH dan SELAMA-LAMANYA SALAH di sisi undang2 mahupun di sisi agama. Namun, sebagai seorang yang pernah menjadi mangsa dera dan despite all the pain and torture I used to have, saya lebih suka jika saya 'melihat peristiwa pahit lalu' dari kaca mata dan minda yang positif. Maksud saya, pengalaman berat itu tidak sepatutnya membuatkan kita terus-menerus berfikiran negatif terhadap sesama manusia mahupun pandangan terhadap hidup secara menyeluruh. Setiap yang berlaku pasti ada sesuatu yang positif boleh kita pelajari daripadanya. So, instead of focussing the mind to think on the negative side, let's turn the matter to the other way around.

Anonymous mengatakan...why the only brightest girl that I ever know can't say "NO" to the matters (being abused). Honestly, label sebagai "the brightest" itulah yang selalu membuatkan saya menghadapi konflik psikologi. Seperti yang pernah saya katakan sebelum ini, saya membesar dengan label "the brightest child"/"the brightest student"/ "the brainy girl" yang diberikan oleh orang2 di sekeliling saya. Malah seorang doktor (PhD) pernah berkata kepada saya, "I know I'm just an idiot chasing after a brainy girl like you". Akibat daripada label ini, saya pernah hilang keseimbangan diri. Tidak seimbang kerana saya menjadi over-confident dalam hidup. I thought I know so much. I thought I was wise in my own eyes. Saya menjadi self-sufficient dan self-reliant. Saya tidak pernah menyedari kesan negatif mindset itu sehingga akhirnya saya bertemu dan menerima seseorang yang "incompatible" dengan saya. Walaupun pada waktu itu ramai yang mengatakan "kami tidak sesuai" tetapi malangnya...I trusted my own judgement because I believed that I was too wise to err. What a lesson! Kesilapan besar ini sangat menyedarkan saya tentang hakikat ini: JANGAN PERNAH MENGANGGAP DIRI SENDIRI CUKUP BIJAK KERANA DI SAAT ANDA BERASA PALING BIJAK DAN KUAT, SAAT ITULAH SEBENARNYA ANDA PALING BODOH DAN LEMAH.

At last, saya faham apa maksud ayat ini kepada saya secara peribadi...."Percayalah kepada Tuhan dengan segenap hatimu. Jangan bersandar kepada pengertianmu sendiri. Akuilah Dia dalam segala lakumu, maka Dia akan meluruskan jalanmu. Janganlah engkau menganggap dirimu sendiri bijak, takutlah akan Tuhan dan jauhilah kejahatan." (Amsal 3:5-7)

Kepada sesiapa yang sudah biasa memandang saya sebagai "the brightest girl" sebelum ini, izinkan saya untuk 'membetulkan' sedikit label ini. "I don't think I deserve to have that tag because those brightness and wisdom do not come from me but God's. Moreover, all human is prone to make mistake but not God. No wise - even the wisest - man is immuned from the symptom of making mistake, that's why all the praise and adoration should go to the one and only, The Almighty and not to man/woman."

Mengapa seorang "brightest girl" boleh melakukan kesilapan? Mengapa seorang "brightest girl" tidak mampu mengatakan "NO" kepada perkara itu? Anonymous mengandaikan "perhaps love is the most powerful thing influence bright people sanity"....jawapan saya adalah kerana saya hanya manusia biasa yang tidak memiliki apa2 kebijaksanaan jika tidak bergantung kepada Sumber Kebijaksanaan itu sendiri. It wasn't because of love, it was because of selfish reason. Itu bukan kerana love tetapi itu adalah kerana saya tersilap meletakkan kepercayaan dan kompromi saya.

Moral of the story:

i) Jangan menganggap diri sendiri bijak, pintar dan pandai sehingga lupa bergantung dan tidak bersandar kepada Yang Maha Bijaksana
iii) Jangan pernah berkompromi dengan sebarang bentuk penderaan sehingga membiarkan diri sendiri disiksa dan didera oleh orang lain dalam jangka masa yang panjang.
iii) Walaupun pengalaman itu menyakitkan tetapi saya tetap bersyukur kerana saya telah belajar tentang erti kerendahan hati.
iv) Walaupun pengalaman itu pahit tetapi telah mengajar saya untuk bersikap lebih rasional dan optimis terhadap hidup.

Tetaplah berfikiran positif walau apapun yang terjadi kerana selagi kita menerimanya dengan positif, segala yang terjadi pasti ada hikmahnya.

P/S: Happy Birthday anonymous (kalau saya tidak silap orang...hehe). God bless you.

To be continued....

PART 4 - Abusive Relationship

2009-05-24T10:10:00.006+08:00

Sepanjang hari kemarin dan semalam, tiba2 severe migraine datang menyerang saya. Fuhh...punyalah sakit. Mula2 saya anggap biasa2 saja tapi bila saya menghadap PC, kepala tambah berdenyut. Lepas tu, bila mengalihkan pandangan jarak jauh sikit, I saw double vision... Ai na...ini bukan biasa2 lagi ni. Beberapa waktu ini, saya terlampau banyak menghabiskan masa di depan PC. Maybe, migraine yang menyerang tu adalah biological warning menyuruh saya rehat2 dulu dari dunia komputer dan internet.

Sebelum saya 'berpuasa' dari dunia blogging untuk beberapa waktu, saya ingin tinggalkan kawan2 semua dengan sedikit catatan sambungan kisah hidup saya, sekadar sebagai satu pengajaran untuk kita renungkan.

Sempena dengan Kempen Anti Dera SAM (http://www.marudubloggers.blogspot.com), entry saya kali ini juga mempunyai kaitan dengan isu penderaan.

Dalam entry saya yang lalu, PART 3 - A Tribute To Dr.Nellson, catatan saya berakhir dengan satu persoalan "mengapa saya jatuh sakit?"

Secara perubatan, punca penyakit yang saya alami memang tidak diketahui. Tetapi, saya secara peribadi sebenarnya faham mengapa saya jatuh sakit. Sebahagian besar daripada puncanya adalah akibat tekanan mental dan emosi yang saya alami kerana 'abusive relationship' selama beberapa tahun.

Ciri2 ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP yang pernah saya alami:

1) sering dipaksa secara ekstrim supaya menjadi pak turut
2) sering ditakut2kan dengan ancaman2 yang teramat ekstrim
3) selalu 'dikurung' secara mental
3) selalu dipersalahkan
4) langsung tidak dihargai
5) etc

Saya tidak berniat untuk menghurai lebih panjang lagi tentang 'abusive relationship' ini sebab saya sudah lama mengampuni dia yang pernah mendera saya, tetapi apa yang ingin saya tekankan ialah HENTIKAN PENDERAAN MENTAL DAN EMOSI kepada sesiapapun. Janganlah bersikap terlalu mementingkan diri sendiri sehingga kita lupa bahawa perbuatan kita itu sebenarnya sedang mendera orang lain terutama orang2 yang kita kasihi.

Kepada sesiapa yang terlibat dalam ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, jangan biarkan diri anda lama2 terbelenggu dalam hubungan yang menyiksa badan dan jiwa. Beranikan diri dan kuatlah untuk meninggalkan/memutuskan hubungan yang ternyata hanya merugikan nyawa dan diri sendiri. Mohon petunjuk dan kekuatan dari yang Maha Kuasa.Tidak pernah ada istilah terlambat untuk keluar daripada hubungan yang merosakkan selagi kita masih hidup.

Selamatkan jiwa dan nyawa anda sebelum terlambat.

LOVE ONE ANOTHER

2009-05-24T10:10:00.005+08:00

It's SAM's ANTI-ABUSE MONTH. It's a call to put a full stop to any form of abuse. In a more positive way of speaking, it's a call to improve the quality of our love to one another.

Why do people abuse?

My final conclusion is because many people today choose to cultivate selfish love instead of real love in their hearts. If that is the case, then what is real love and how to cultivate real love?

According to my belief, real love means:

i) never tired of waiting, which basically means has long patience and is kind
ii) has no high opinion of itself, or in other words not arrogant and prideful
iii) not quickly made angry
iv) takes no account of evil
v) takes no pleasure in wrongdoing but has joy in what is true
vi) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
vii) has no end and no limit

If we really apply these definitions of love in our every day lives, no matter how busy and stressful parents may be, they will never abuse their child . No matter how provocative and alluring the situation tempts a parent, a husband, a wife, a boy/girlfriend, a relative, a leader, etc, to act abusively, real love stops him/her from doing it.

All in all, Anti-abuse campaign is more than merely getting people attention to stop abusing, rather it's a call to love one another in a better and ever-improving way.

P/S: Love one another even if that another is our enemy.

Happy Weekend everyone.

Mengapa Mendera?

2009-05-22T19:23:00.001+08:00

(SEMPENA KEMPEN ANTI DERA SAM)

Melihat paparan gambar2 dan rakaman video tentang isu penderaan dalam SAM, saya terdiam dan berfikir kenapa ada manusia yang sanggup melakukan perbuatan kejam mendera kanak-kanak sampai begitu sekali. Fikiran saya menerawang jauh kepada banyak lagi isu-isu kejam lain yang juga melibatkan penderaan. Antaranya pasti masih segar dalam ingatan kita tentang kes ngeri rogol dan bunuh yang berlaku di daerah kita tahun lalu. Mangsa itu pun (dan mungkin pemangsa juga) bukan orang lain, saudara kita sendiri juga. Sesungguhnya, kita sangat mengutuk dan mengecam perbuatan2 kejam seumpama ini. Persoalannya, mengapa mesti bertindak sejahat itu? Mengapa tergamak begitu kejam menzalimi insan sesama manusia?

Menurut para psychologists, memang sukar untuk mengetahui motif sebenar mengapa seseorang suka mendera orang lain. Jawapannya pelbagai dan berlainan. Generally, tabiat suka mendera kebanyakannya bukan datang secara semulajadi dalam diri seseorang, tetapi lebih kepada dipelajari/diadaptasi dari sumber lain. Proses penerapan sikap suka mendera berlaku kerana/apabila:

1) orang berkenaan pernah menjadi mangsa dera pada satu jangka masa yang panjang, terutama sekali pada zaman kanak-kanak ketika proses pertumbuhan fizikal dan mental pesat berlaku. Contohnya, didera (samada secara langsung atau tidak langsung) oleh ibubapa, adik-beradik, pengasuh dan ahli keluarga lain. Apabila individu berkenaan menjadi dewasa, dia akan menukar dinamik hubungan mangsa dera VS pendera menjadi pendera VS mangsa dera. Ini kerana dengan menjadi pendera, mereka mendapat kepuasan untuk berada pada posisi in-control abuser dan keluar daripada perasaan out-of-control victim yang pernah mereka alami sebelumnya.

2) kerap menyaksikan aksi-aksi ganas secara live mahupun melalui media massa seperti menonton TV, movie, membaca bahan bacaan yang berunsurkan keganasan dll.

Memetik frasa seorang penulis, "by beholding, we are changed", maka tidak hairanlah kalau orang yang kerap menonton perbuatan atau aksi ganas (samada melalui percakapan atau tindakan) akan 'diubah' menjadi sama seperti apa yang selalu dia saksikan. Semakin kerap seseorang melihat aksi ganas dan kejam, maka secara psikologi, tanggapan bahawa perbuatan itu sesuatu yang 'biasa' dan diterimapakai di mana-mana akan terbentuk dengan sendirinya dalam minda. Akibatnya, apabila berada dalam keadaan hilang kawalan emosi, aksi yang pernah disaksikan dengan mudah diaplikasikan dan bertukar menjadi isu penderaan.

Moral of the story:

1) Ibubapa dan orang-orang dewasa, didiklah anak-anak dan generasi muda dengan sebaik dan setulusnya kerana setiap perbuatan kita akan memberi impak samada positif atau negatif kepada mereka. Jika teladan baik kita berikan, baiklah mereka. Jika teladan jahat kita tinggalkan, mereka pula akan menjadi lebih jahat daripada kita.

ii) Jangan biarkan anak-anak menyaksikan pertengakaran antara orang2 dewasa di dalam rumah atau di mana2, hindarkan kanak2 daripada mendengar kata2 kesat dan tidak senonoh terutama sekali daripada ibubapa dan seringlah memantau serta menghadkan dengan tegas bahan2 santapan mata, telinga dan minda anak2. Sebaiknya, jangan biarkan mereka menonton cerita2 ganas di TV, etc.

Bersambung....

Especially Dedicated To Sheera

2009-05-20T14:42:00.009+08:00

Note: Kawan2 yang menanti2kan sambungan kisah hidup Part 4 saya, harap sabar menunggu. Oleh kerana kita masih lagi dalam mood Hari Guru jadi izinkan saya untuk menikmati mood ini dulu beberapa ketika. Catatan kali ini saya khaskan kepada sahabat baik saya, Miss Sheera. Kalau ada sesiapa yang kasaramai untuk sumantuk, komentar anda sentiasa dialu-alukan.

Dear Sheera,

How nice to remember our past time when we first entered our TESL matriculation some time back. Jom...down the memory lane for a while.

The time when I got the offer letter, I wasn't happy at all you know because I didn't like teaching profession in the first place. My childhood's dream was always wanted to be a doctor (kunun2 la...hahaha). But, knowing the fact that to reject the offer means not going anywhere, so I accepted it anyway. I came to PPP/ITM one week later when you all almost towards the end of the orientation's weeks.

Blue card VS pink card...can't recall it very well but most probably I chose the blue one. But, I remember it very well bila kita kena suruh buat our first public speaking by Miss Joanne...hey...sampai sekarang saya masih tertanya2, what on earth made sheera cry time buat PS tu?? hehehe...jangan mare...but her comment about my speech pun teruk tau..."don't sway your body too much while speaking!"...hahaha...mana tidak telampau guyang, takut dan barabis cari idea apa mau cakap bah tu. My tongue was so stiffed + dry and desperately in need of some lubricator at that time....huhuhu. Yeah, Magenta was our first class. After that, Burgundy, Explorer (I think yours were different after Magenta).

When did I begin to fall in love with teaching profession? To be honest, I can't recall the exact moment of such event took place in my mind. Guess, it was a slow process along the way of our varsity years and obviously our lecturers did the most part of influencing my mind to be one (must be the same to you too). Their dedication, their commitment and their stunning personalities (Ms. Marina, Ms. Joanne, Pn. Faizah, etc) have inspired me to want to pursue a position of a 'role model' to young mind like students. To me being a role model to students means to impress them to love knowledge, wisdom, virtues and anything that serves them good intellectually and ethically. Because of that, I know I need to be a teacher/an educator. Once I realized that, the passion to teach always burns within my heart:)

Today, even though I'm no longer directly involved in teaching at school but the spirit is always there and am still feel a part of the teaching community. One more thing, I believe that teaching is not limited within the classroom range only. We can always practice teaching and educating people's mind through lots of other mediums like internet, etc.

If you look at what you've achieved as a teacher so far and you still don't feel good enough, I would say you're on the very right track because that feel motivates us to want to learn more and more. People say "A good teacher is a good learner, likewise a good learner is a good teacher".

I love this line of yours....Always a teacher; to teach, to instruct and to inspire.

All the best to you teacher Sheera!

Lots of love,

Mimie
Kota Marudu.

Happy Teacher's Day

2009-05-16T19:41:00.010+08:00

Kalaulah saya boleh kembali ke zaman kanak2 dan ditanya semula apa cita2 saya...jawapan saya : TEACHER.

Hari ini, jika ditanya lagi...jawapan saya masih sama: TEACHER

Esok, dan esok dan esok... jika masih hidup dan ditanya soalan yang sama...tidak mungkin jawapan saya akan berbeza.

Betapa jiwa pendidik itulah jiwa sebenar saya!

Terima kasih kepada semua guru2 yang pernah mendidik saya... jasamu selamanya dikenang.

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY...

PART 3 - A Tribute To My Beloved Brother, Dr. Nellson (Ison)

2009-05-13T15:01:00.007+08:00

Note: Jangan suspen ah kawan2...hehe. Paparan kali ini bukannya satu cerita kisah cinta tapi sebenarnya ini adalah sambungan cerita Down The Memory Lane yang saya kongsikan sebelum ini. Anaru iti nga tuyanai diko'o mambasa bo. Happy Reading.

....SEGALA-GALANYA BERUBAH apabila tiba masanya untuk saya meneruskan langkah ke menara gading.

Perubahan pertama, cita-cita saya mahu menjadi doktor terpaksa dikuburkan kerana jika dilihat dari keputusan SPM saya, memang 'tidak sesuai' untuk masuk ke bidang perubatan. Lantas, saya terpaksa mengubah haluan ke bidang Pendidikan yang lebih bersifat linguistic. Apapun, saya tetap gembira dan bersyukur kerana sekurang2nya dapat juga ikut menyusul bro Ison belajar di Pengajian tinggi.

Tahun 1998, saya ke UiTM, Shah Alam. Kemasukan saya ke sana disambut oleh e-mail bro Ison yang memberikan ucapan tahniah dan menyatakan rasa bangganya kerana saya berjaya meneruskan pengajian di universiti. Sejak itu, kami sentiasa berhubungan melalui email. Pernah sekali kami berdua 'dating' sehari suntuk di kompleks PKNS, Shah Alam (haha...nasadayan kito ka diri Ison?). Tidak ada apa2 sebenarnya. Sekadar bertemu untuk mengubati rasa rindu pada kampung halaman yang nun jauh di mata, bertukar2 fikiran dan makan bersama.

Perubahan kedua, saya terpaksa dan harus belajar menerima hakikat bahawa hidup ini tidak selamanya indah dan mudah apabila saya mulai jatuh sakit pada tahun 2000. Nampaknya keinginan kuat saya mahu menjadi doktor terbalik pula menjadi pesakit. What an irony! Bermula dari titik ini jugalah segala-gala yang lain dalam hidup saya turut berubah secara drastik.

Penghujung tahun 2000, saya ditahan di UH (Hospital Universiti, U.Malaya) selama hampir 2 minggu di wad Rheumatology. Kerana apa? Sehingga hari ini, tidak ada diagnosis dari segi perubatan yang betul2 jelas. Semuanya negatif. Result menunjukkan semuanya normal tetapi simptom2 joint pain dan on-off fever semakin menjadi2 dari hari ke hari. Selama berada di UH, selama itulah saat2 saya berasa paling dekat dengan bro Ison. Dengan setia, sedaya upaya dari HUKM bro Ison datang melawat dan menemani saya di UH hampir setiap hari. Di waktu yang lain bila dia tidak dapat datang, dia akan pastikan ada orang yang datang menemani untuk menceriakan hari-hari saya melalui seorang doktor pelatih lain (rakan baik bro Ison) yang belajar di UH. Betapa prihatinnya brother ku ini.

Pernah juga sekali, tiba2 bro Ison muncul di UH bersama seorang pemuda berkulit cerah yang amat asing di mata saya. Pemuda itu senyum2 dan menyapa saya dalam bahasa Kimaragang...bukan alang2 halus dan dalam lagi bahasa Kimaragang dia...adess...madko turus mikulabid i dila ku tiya diri...haha..rupa2nya, pemuda itu bukan orang lain juga...siapa lagi kalau bukan bro Mogoron yang waktu itu dalam proses menghabiskan pengajian doctorate nya di UPM (kalau tidak silap). Hati saya waktu itu tidak terkata, excited yang teramat sangat kerana dikunjungi oleh saudara yang pertama kali saya temui dalam hidup dan tidak pernah berjumpa lagi selepas itu. Tapi, syukurlah kerana dengan adanya kecanggihan teknologi masa kini, alam maya telah menemukan dan mendekatkan saya semula dengan bro Mogoron.

Bila saya kenangkan kembali semua peristiwa2 lalu ini...kadang2 saya tersenyum...banyak waktu juga saya menangis walaupun jauh di sudut hati...saya sebenarnya teramat bersyukur kerana pengalaman itu amat berharga, pengalaman itu mematangkan fikiran, pengalaman itu menjadi guru yang mengajar tanpa menyembunyikan kebenaran...

Sebelum berpisah untuk hari ini, saya tinggalkan kawan2 semua dengan petikan kata2 bro Ison kepada saya tidak lama dulu....

"Saya terus berfikir kenapa kau tiba2 sakit begitu, dan kenapa pihak hospital tidak dapat menemui apa penyebabnya, juga kenapa ubat2 yang diberikan tidak memberi kesan yang diharapkan. Ah! Saya banyak berfikir tentang kau. Mana mungkin tidak ada jawapan? Setiap yang berlaku pasti ada penyebab dan tujuannya. Setiap jenis penyakit pasti ada penyebabnya. Saya baca buku. Cek di internet. Namun saya tidak juga menemui jawapan yang memuaskan...saya menangis sendiri bila ingat kau. Kalaulah saya tahu sejak dari kita di KL lagi. Mungkin keadaannya tidak sama seperti sekarang. I’m so sorry my dear sister. Kekesalan ini tidak pernah luput dalam ingatan saya..."

Mengapa dan kenapa sampai begini...nantikan sambungannya nanti.

To be continued...

P/S: Keseluruhan siri kisah hidup saya ini adalah satu paparan realiti kehidupan masa lalu, masa kini dan akan datang. Tidak ada niat untuk menagih simpati, semua ini sekadar satu perkongsian sebagai renungan kita bersama supaya tetap bersemangat untuk live life to fullest sekalipun berhadapan dengan beraneka ragam suka duka kehidupan.

PART 2 - Down The Memory Lane: My Early Life

2009-05-08T11:32:00.008+08:00

Baru selesai melayari beberapa blog rakan-rakan yang ada di merata2 Malaysia. Dari KW saya terbang ke Surinit....adesss...turus sinumakob hati saya. Paparan kisah hidup hari ini banyak mengundang deraian airmata...alam sekeliling pun mendung dan suram. Jam menunjukkan hampir pukul 12 tengah hari tapi kelibat pancaran ceria sang suria masih juga tak kunjung tiba. Dan aku... hatiku tiba2 memilih enggan untuk bersuara banyak. Jadi, apa saja yang mampu ditulis untuk hari ini, itu sajalah yang akan menjadi tatapan rakan2 yang setia menanti sambungan cerita yang saya tulis sebelum ini....Down The Memory Lane...

Dalam keluarga, saya anak yang ke-7 (my favourite number...hehe) daripada 8 orang adik-beradik. Walaupun lahir bukan sebagai anak bongsu tetapi saya selalu dilayan dan dianggap seperti anak bongsu sejak kecil sampai sekarang. Dari dulu, saya juga dilabel sebagai "the brightest child in the family". Tidak hairan jika saya juga merupakan anak dan adik kesayangan ibubapa dan adik-beradik saya. Kasihan adik bongsu saya kerana kehadirannya sering 'tenggelam' akibat perhatian keluarga lebih tertumpu kepada saya.

Saya masih ingat dulu-dulu setiap kali abang2 dan kakak2 saya bertanya, "Mimie, apa cita-cita kau bila besar nanti?"
"Saya mahu jadi doktor" Itulah jawapan pantas yang tidak pernah berubah keluar dari mulut saya. (Hehe...ini bukan meniru cerita bro Ison tapi inilah cita2 saya dulu2. Malahan bro Ison adalah antara saudara terdekat yang menjadi idola saya dari dulu sampai sekarang dalam banyak perkara).

Berbeza dengan kisah zaman kanak-kanak bro Ison, saya memang antara pelajar terbaik waktu sekolah rendah dulu. Sejak darjah satu - enam, tidak pernah sekali pun saya gagal dalam setiap peperiksaan di sekolah. Setiap tahun pasti mendapat hadiah/anugerah kerana menduduki tempat pertama atau kedua atau ketiga.

Beralih ke zaman sekolah menengah, seperti biasa prestasi akademik saya sentiasa 'excellent'. Dalam banyak perkara dan keadaan, saya juga selalu menjadi 'center of attraction' oleh orang2 sekeliling. Dengan pencapaian yang serba-serbi kelihatan 'cukup pakej' waktu itu, saya yakin bahawa saya akan dapat mencapai cita2 saya dan mengikuti jejak saudara idola saya dengan mudah.

Rupa-rupanya saya silap. Akhirnya saya mengerti bahawa kejayaan tidak akan datang bergolek dengan sendirinya tanpa usaha sehabis baik seperti yang pernah saya tulis dalam No Pain, No Gain. Segala-galanya berubah apabila.....

To be continued....

PART 1 - Down The Memory Lane: The Good Old Days

2009-05-05T16:53:00.017+08:00

Sudah lama saya berfikir-fikir mahu menulis sesuatu tentang realiti diri tapi sampai sekarang masih lagi tertangguh dan tidak tahu di mana saya harus memulakannya. Sudah beberapa kali juga, beberapa rakan membuat special request supaya saya berkongsi kisah benar tentang kehidupan saya di sebalik suka duka yang pernah dan sedang terjadi dalam hidup saya tapi jawapan saya sering kali....tunggu dulu. Bukan kerana tidak sudi atau tidak suka dengan permintaan rakan2 sekalian cuma saya menunggu waktu yang saya rasa betul2 tepat untuk berbicara tentang erti cabaran, kepayahan, keperitan dan kesakitan mengharungi hari-hari sebagai seorang yang kurang upaya diri. Bagi kawan2 bloggers yang belum mengenali saya sepenuhnya atau mungkin kenal tapi sudah lama tidak berjumpa, kamu pasti tertanya-tanya apa maksud saya mengatakan diri saya kurang upaya. Catatan ini hanyalah sebagai satu prolog ringkas bagi permulaan episod pertama layar lara yang bakal kalian saksikan bersama di alam maya. Kali ini, bagi memenuhi permintaan ramai, saya akan menulis dalam BM. Mungkin ada rojak sikit tapi I'll try my best:)

Untuk coretan pembuka tabir, temani saya seketika dalam mengimbas kenangan2 silam, menyusuri jejak yang pernah dilewati bersama suatu waktu dulu ketika 'segala-galanya' masih menjadi milikku.

Once upon a time....the cheerful and active Mimie...

I miss the moment very very much!

I used to be a great lover of these activities - Camping, hiking and fellowshipping

Sunway Lagoon with best friends

KL Tower with friends

Sabbath is always a happy day - miss them like crazy...cuba kamurang zoom in...ada sesiapa yg kamu kenal? hahaha...

To be continued....

O My....It's May

2009-05-01T07:38:00.004+08:00

May...you are here finally. A long awaited month is REALLY here...OMG!! How could I describe the mixture of feelings that've been bugging inside me all this while? Extremely happy + scared + hopeful + unsure + excited + anxious + worry are all there...but what's the fuss about May by the way? A lot. It means loads of things, at least to me personally.

1) May - generally signifies rest, family retreat, happiness, laughter, celebration as well as aramaiti to those who celebrate Tadau Tagayo Do Kaamatan.

2) May - someone special will be celebrating his birthday 6 days from now :-)

3) May - Time for me to seriously assess how much I've achieved so far . Also a time to remind that half of the year has gone and only about 60% of the year left for me to carry on with the rest of my visions.

4) May - The final countdown starts...the time is approaching...owww...the excitement of anticipating a long expected moment to take place was just too overwhelming and unbearable sometimes...the closer the day to come the more I feel inconfident in myself...gosh...This is no helpful at all! Motivating tips please...

KOTOBIAN TADAU TAGAYO DO KAAMATAN
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT PESTA KAAMATAN
HAPPY HARVEST FESTIVAL TO ALL SABAHANS wherever you are. Enjoy the month/day safely and harmoniously!

Will Be Back Soon..

2009-04-28T14:19:00.002+08:00

Been very busy for the past few days up to this moment. Only have little time to surf some blogs but really no time to drop any comment there. I'm sorry friends. Will be back soon..hopefully.

A Moment To Be Thankful

2009-04-17T16:49:00.006+08:00

Without faith, hope and love our lives are miserable. But the greatest of these is love.

Sometimes I do feel that life is extremely being unfair to me. So many unanswered 'whys' make my days blue and gloomy. At such times, the best thing I can do is to focus on all the blessings that God has given me. Then, I started counting them one by one until finally I fall down on my knees before Him, awed and humbled by the reality of how much God has loved me and been with me unconditionally. Though many times in my heart I've questioned Him and even failed to believe Him, yet He's been faithful to be by my side through it all. How amazing! and I just love Him simply because He first loved me.

The blessings...I've got abundant of them. Especially the blessings of love. I'm so thankful that God has blessed me with loving and caring parents, brothers and sisters. My life with them has been so much of joys and loves. Without them, I could have died long time ago. They are my everything. I'm also grateful that I have a group of very supportive relatives and friends. They are always there to cheer me up and even cry with me. Their endless prayers for me mean a lot to me. May God bless you all my friends!

Last but not least, thank you dear Lord for sending me the most special gift of love through someone who's willing to accept and love me just the way I am. To the one that I love, you are a miracle from God for me. I love you.

All in all...these blessings of love truly remind me that there's no reason for me to be miserable because God has blessed me enough more that what I deserve to. Thank you..

My Prayer

2009-04-16T13:37:00.007+08:00

Life is pretty stressful and frustrating this week. Being blamed for many unfair reasons. Being misunderstood and misinterpreted. And worst of all, I've to accept that one of my close relatives has renounced his faith and chooses to deny the Savior. It's so heart-breaking! Lots of things seem to be out of control.

Lord, for my sake, empower me that I will rise and soar like an eagle above all the troubles that surround me. Give me wisdom and fairness to evaluate. Give me patience, compassion and kindness for all people.

In times like these...thank God that I have Him as my tower of refuge. Amen.

Satu Penantian (I)

2009-04-12T15:12:00.006+08:00

Semalam adalah satu malam yang panjang….sepi

Hari ini tidak banyak yang berbeza

Aku tenggelam dalam gelisah yang enggan diredakan

Gelisah dalam rindu yang sering mengusik rasaku

Gundah dalam hati yang sarat oleh cinta

Melewati sempadan langit

Andai izinNya mampu kugapai impian hatiku

Aku ingin selalu menjadi ratu hatinya

Tanpa batas…Selama dan selama yang boleh…

Tapi untuk saat ini…cengkaman suara bisu semakin menyiksa

Note: Hahaha…sebelum kamurang ketawa, saya kasi ketawa dulu sedia ini ‘puisi jiwang’ saya kali ini… maka’a no bala ong nobius (Aku dibius cinta!) no ot ginawo, milom po tu masam2 ososorow om mimbulai sid pongitungan. Hehe.. Tapi baru belajar berpuisi bah ni..

Another Great Tsunami Is Yet To Strike?

2009-04-10T10:06:00.003+08:00

I just received this message from a colleague. I don’t know the source of the message; I also don’t know the credibility of the content, but just beware.

Below is the content on the message:

“Hello there. I just wanted 2 let you know that please stay away from the beaches all around in the month of July. There is a prediction that there will be another tsunami hitting on July 22^nd. It is also when there will be sun eclipse. Predicted that it is going 2 be really bad and countries like Malaysia (Sabah & Sarawak), Singapore, Maldives, Australia, Mauritius, Sri Lanka, India, Indonesia, Philippines are going 2 be badly hit. Please try and stay away from the beaches in July. Better 2 be safe than sorry. Please pass the word around. Please also pray for all beings.”

Note: Sejauh mana kesahihan berita ini, kita tunggu dan lihat. Benar atau tidak perkara ke-2, yang penting kita sudah 'sediakan payung sebelum hujan'. Have a happy day everyone!

From The Deepest of My Heart

2009-04-06T23:47:00.009+08:00

After reading a few of my friends’ “SAD” entries…these thoughts came popping up on my mind…

It’s not an easy road that I’m travelling through

It’s an avenue that least gets chosen by

It’s not a bed of roses that I’m lying on

It’s a chamber full of deadly thorns

Given the one and only option of pain and suffering

I better dare to choose not to lose hope

For I know that my hope is built on the the Rock of Ages

Afterthought: While it’s good for us to get busy preparing for the worst, don’t forget to keep hoping for the best. Cheer up my friends!

My New Pottery Fountain Flowing Candle

2009-04-05T21:45:00.012+08:00

Hello everyone... Mimie is here... I just came back from my one week 'cuti2' somewhere.. this time memang betul2 cuti oh.. hehe.

And here I am, back to my beloved bedroom with my new pottery fountain flowing candle. Mau tau apa gunanya...ia direka khusus untuk terapi deria2 rasa...telinga, mata and most of all untuk deria bau. Caranya mudah saja, setiap kali itu fountain flows, it produces soothing sound of flowing waters...macam sedang dengar bunyi air terjun cuma bezanya ini kedengaran lebih gemersik di telinga. Menariknya untuk mata, cahaya lampu dengan aliran fountain yang jernih sangat menyejukkan rasa hati. Untuk deria bau pula, bila itu fountain sedang mengalir, apa saja jenis perfume yang kita campurkan di sana akan bertindak aktif untuk mengharumkan segenap ruang bilik secara berterusan...
Hemm...siuk pula mau tidur ni, dengan fragrance yang harum semerbak...mengundang macam2 bayangan romantis dalam mimpi...hahaha...selamat malam semua!

What You Have Committed To Your Mind?

2009-03-26T13:10:00.003+08:00

The best of all things is to learn.

Money can be lost or stolen,

health and strength may fail,

but what you have committed to your mind

is yours forever.

- Louis L Amour (1908-1988)

Undangan Ke Majlis Perkahwinan

2009-03-12T12:38:00.013+08:00

Berita baik yang teramat baik...ehem sebelum itu, ini bukan majlis saya aah tapi majlis adik sepupu saya. Seperti tajuk, entry kali ini memang istimewa dan dikhususkan secara eksklusif untuk mempromosi dan dengan segala hormatnya mengundang tuan2, puan2, saudara2, rakan2 dan sesiapa saja yang dapat dan sudi datang ke majlis perkahwinan Mr Jamal & Ms Norwati (anak kepada Mendiang Cikgu Malijau Gaul) yang akan diadakan di kediaman keluarga pengantin perempuan di Kg. Nolotan, Kota Marudu pada 17 Mac 2009 (Selasa) . Turut mengundang, ibu bapa dan keluarga kedua-dua pihak pengantin. Kedatangan saudara-saudari semua sangat2 diharapkan untuk memeriahkan lagi majlis berbahagia ini.

Aturcara Majlis
10.00 am
Acara Persandingan dan Pemberkatan di Gereja SDA Nolotan
12.30 pm
Majlis resepsi di rumah pengantin perempuan

Cinta itu bukan permintaan dari seseorang tapi datang tanpa terpaksa. Cinta itu bukan buta tapi melihat dan menjadi pendengar. Cinta itu tidak selalunya cantik, tapi hati yang saling berpaut. Cinta itu bukan satu JANJI tapi satu tanda ingatan yang ikhlas. Cinta itu tidak hanya mendengar tapi bergetar tanpa kata. Cinta itu bukan setakat berbicara tapi hati ikhlas. Cinta itu tidak pernah menyiksa tapi menguji rasa. Cinta itu bukan juga paksaan tapi berkongsi arah yang sama...Cinta bukan mengajar kita menjadi lemah tetapi membangkitkan kekuatan. Cinta sejati menyatukan dua jiwa di dalam segala kekurangan juga kekuatan. Semoga cinta ini berkekalan hingga ke hujung nyawa…Amin.

Bah, kawan2 semua, kayow pogi sumu'ung. Asadap mari gisak dot Nolotan ki...haha. Partama om tokow i tokow teti.

Be Optimistic

2009-03-10T11:59:00.015+08:00

I just finished reading one of my close friends' entry about things fall apart (which as I've expected should be her genuine reaction after reading my 'Get Back Up' entry...betul ka apa yg sya cakap ni Sheera? hehe). Anyway, what I'm gonna write here is not totally a direct response to her writing but more like a general view of life according to my own experiences and perception of life.

These 3 life-issues that you are about to read are a very part and parcel of our lives. No exception. No compromise. Every living man has to face them.

1. Life is about making choices
Yes indeed. This is one of the many and earliest greatest gifts that God has bestowed upon us. Since the beginning of time, God gives us all the freedom to decide on our own our wants, likes and dislikes. But, having said that doesn't mean that we are left alone without moral guidelines. Following those guidelines is our uttermost obligation and the safest thing we can do in order to keep us detached from misery as a result of our unwise decisions. Some people make choices by relying on the basis of simply "following what their hearts want to do" only to find more confusion and lack of peacefulness in their hearts. Why? because, our hearts alone are deceitful in its nature and is not the most reliable guide to lead us through the decision-making process. We need an 'outside help' - something supernatural - that transcends our human understanding in order for us to make the right choice. And this means we are to have a submissive attitude towards our Creator because He knows our future the best. Our Creator's plan for each one of us is perfect.

2. Human beings always make mistakes
Definitely. No doubt about this. Be it small or big, we are so prone to make mistakes. It's just our undeniable fallen human nature. But one thing we have to keep in mind, JANGAN BIARKAN KETIDAKSEMPURNAAN KITA SEBAGAI ALASAN UNTUK MENJADI LEBIH TIDAK SEMPURNA LAGI...which means our sinful nature is not and NEVER an excuse for us to make more and more mistakes in life. However, if we look at it from a positive angle, I think mistakes and failures are not all that bad anyway. After all, our own trial and error experiences is the greatest and most powerful teacher that can help us to be a better mature person...hopefully.

3. Letting go; forgive and forget
Yup...it's not easy to do this but it's not that hard either. I've experienced this many times in my life. I've been hurt - extremely hurt - by a few persons over and over again. I've every reason and right to say "I hate that person deeply and it's almost appropriate for me to take revenge" but of course I didn't do that because I realize the destructive price of foolishness and selfishness in thinking and doing that. I myself am not perfect, just like my 'adversaries'....so, who am I to seek revenge for heartaches that someone has caused me when nobody could be a justifiable judge but the Almighty? Hence, the best thing for me to do is to find peacefulness through letting go and forgiving the ones who hurt me. Believe me, it's the most satisfying and amazingly rewarding thing we can do to ourselves (and also to the ones that hurt us I think) . But wait a minute....didn't I say forgive and forget? Hmmm...let's be realistic here, tell me frankly, would it be possible for us to forget our past mistakes, failures etc? anyone? How could we ever forget the dark and bitter chapters of our own lives - unless you are suffering from those amnesia or senility? How could I? I would say it would be completely impossible BUT we can choose to and by the grace of God, we will learn something new altogether. As the time goes by we will learn to see that forgetting our past mistake is not an act of deleting the unwanted events/moments or whatsoever from our mental CPUs rather it's an act of accepting our own weaknesses and be thankful that through those 'bad' experiences we become a better mature person...hopefully:) Then only we will be able to forget the pain and the hurt brought by our unwanted experiences but not the experience itself.

Above all, let's face life with an optimistic attitude because pain is inevitable but misery is optional.

Get Back Up!

2009-03-05T13:43:00.006+08:00

I'm back after being in silence for a while...hehe

So, what do you think I'm up to? Any idea? A lot of friends have been asking me where did I go for my 'suti-suti Malaysia'...well, the truth is I didn't go anywhere physically. It just a psychology vacation kind of thing that requires me to be in a 'shut down' mode for at least a couple of time to rejuvenate myself and get focused on what I really want to do in my life. It was a time to get still so that I could see and realize that many things in my life have fallen apart and need to be fixed. It was a reflection time to become conscious of my fallen nature and because of that it was also an urgent call for me to get back up lest I fall and die in despair.

Sometimes along the road of life, we fall down and we feel like we don't have the strength to get up. Hindrances, obstacles, unfavorable circumstances, hopelessness make us to think that we are totally trapped in a destined-cage that has no way out. Having those constraints around us , we think that it should be impossible for us to get back up. At such times, do you think you have hope? What should we do then when our case seems hopeless?

When it seems that it should be impossible for us to get back up, remember IT IS ACTUALLY NOT. Try and keep trying to get up. If we try to get up 100 times and we fail, don't give up. Giving up would never bring us on our legs again. If we fail, try again and again and again. It's not the end neither it's not how we start that matters most. It matters how we gonna finish. Are we gonna finish strong? And we will find the strength to get back up like we never know before.

There is always a way because God will make a way where there seems to be no way! Good luck everyone!

Where Am I Heading To?

2009-02-18T14:59:00.006+08:00

I've been thinking for these past few days...what is it actually I wanna do in my life? Where am I heading to? They keep bothering me and yet I have not taken much action on these questions though. All I do so far is just letting the time slips by and let loose of myself...joking here and there...oh yeah laugh a lot too of course and...uuh...really living?

Anyway...I did learn one thing for sure...now I understand better (at least according to my own judgment) what this statement means to me personally...

"I have had to learn, against my instincts, that what seems attractive and alluring may in fact prove destructive. I need outside help in determining what is truly good for me...evil is unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed and eats at our own table."

Well...I need to get some refreshment and remind myself to reorganize or perhaps I should say TAKE URGENT ACTION on my many many big due plans...hehe.

Note: Titingkadan po daton lumamas nono bo oi tongo kinoruangan...kadadapo bala, mangatag oku po kembagu iso blog dang kimaragang om rumamai nogi tokou silo...opidsalang siti monorita dang kalamas tu milom osimban om kasalu ot pongitungan do tulun nunu komoyoon ku monong 'really living'...hahaha

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T15:50:00.006+08:00

"Taruhlah aku seperti meterai pada hatimu, seperti meterai pada lenganmu, karena cinta kuat seperti maut"

- Kidung Agung

Selamat Hari Kasih Sayang Semua..

Note: Happy Sabbath to all my Adventist friends around the globe!

25 Random Things About Me, Myself & I

2009-02-12T11:50:00.004+08:00

Tadi bila saya buka facebook, ada mesej dari one of my close friends yang sama2 belajar di kolej dulu. Mesej itu bagitau dia kasi tagged saya dalam catatan note dia… tajuk note dia macam tajuk di atas... Pesan dalam note itu pula ialah…

“Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it because I want to know more about you”

OMG! Inilah assignment yang paling saya paning kapala mau buat.. hehe. Jangankan 25, 10 saja pun tidak pernah saya dapat kasi cukup. Bukan kerana tidak kenal diri sendiri tapi saya lebih suka kalau orang lain yang describe diri saya sebab deskripsi mereka lebih jujur dan baik untuk difikir2, malahan boleh menstimulasikan perubahan yang baik dalam diri sendiri.

Kawan2 semua... tulung ka... apa macam kamurang nampak saya? ... kalau dulu2 time sekolah menengah ramai yang cakap saya ini 'sumbung' la , arrogant la, dan semua yg seangkatan dengannya sebab saya terlalu sukar untuk didekati.. walaupun saya langsung tidak terniat untuk 'menyombongkan' diri.. tapi oleh kerana ramai yang cakap begitu.. so, saya menyimpulkan yang deskripsi mereka tentang diri saya pasti lebih tepat berbanding saya punya 'cakapan' sendiri... because of that.. i need your help here..

Sebagai permulaan...

1) Inspiring/motivating others is one of my neverending passions

2).............

3)............

uuuhhh... 24 more to go... HELP!

Bah kawan2... the stage is yours:)...

Note: Freda dear, let us write in BM here... hehe. TQ Fred for being a wonderful friend to me!

I Wonder Why...I Wonder How...

2009-02-10T17:12:00.005+08:00

Of all people in the whole wide world, I wonder why we are so prone to hurt the one that we love most? Why do we easily get irritated and over sensitive when our loved ones make those little - usually too trivial to be pondered on - mistakes when we can manage a grin, although forcefully, to a visitor's kid that breaks our precious vase? We can even speak sweetly and considerately to a stranger but a bitter and painful remark to our beloved when in anger. Can we call this a type of hypocrisy? or perhaps this is just our human nature which is out of our control and thus we are helpless to change anything about it? Hemm...why and how ahh...

Note: "Whatever you want people to do for you, do the same for them"

Att Mr. Illie: My Beloved Sister

2009-02-03T20:27:00.004+08:00

Konnichiwa semua! Ehemm...ini bukan promosi ah...sekadar ingin mengongsikan beberapa keping gambar Sis Nanang yang sempat saya jumpa dalam gallery saya atas sebab memenuhi permintaan sdr. Illie yang ingin melihat wajah 'kawan lama' dia ini...Hehe...jgn mare Illie :). Inilah dia...taraaa...

(2009)

(2008)

(2004)

P/S: sorry Illie...odiyomut oku po upload diti gmbar nisu'u nu...ongo rara'at iti gambar ti nga mogot po bo tu nokotunai ku ih it janji ku...hehe

Me, In The Middle of The Night :)

2009-02-01T00:05:00.004+08:00

Let me take a ‘break’ from ‘the real me’ for a while and say something sappy gushy here…hahaha…sounds a bit weird and not like MIMIE at all but hey…I’m just a human who sometimes would emotionally falter and be possessed by a mixture of complicated emotions just like any other person. It’s impossible to be strong all the time. There are times when we have to accept the fact that we are indeed all weak and feeble. No more hiding. Just show the true colors of you because you are not alone. In fact, all of us more or less is not any differ with that of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Two – or even more – conflicting desires, emotions and etc are always at war in us and claiming to appear on the surface. Which one would take the most part of us? YOU DECIDE. The power of choice is freely ALL yours. Hence, do appreciate that abundance of freedom given to us! But being appreciative also means being BRILLIANT and WISE in making a decision. Don’t let your unintelligent choice of today ruin the happiness of your tomorrow.

Owwh…what am I talking about here…things have not turned out the way that I have planned earlier. Hahaha…forget about those complicated emotions. Gone with the wind. One thing I’ve learned here, it’s not easy to simply take a ‘break’ and become someone else once you have formed certain habits and terms of behaving and presenting yourself in public. My passion is to inspire others and I couldn’t afford to contradict myself.

After all, the more I tried to be sincere and genuine to myself, the more I found that it’s just another better way to really living! Gud nite Malaysia.

January - our month of the year!

2009-01-28T14:52:00.009+08:00

(Sis Uku, Sis Nanang & the skinny me..hehe)

We are women of January (Illie…applicable ka sama kami itu ciri2 peribadi org bulan January dlm blog ko tu ah? Hehe..).

It was a very sweet and memorable day for the three of us because for the first time since we were born – without any prior planning – we managed to celebrate our birthdays together on the 26th of January (mine actually on the 11th of Jan but since I’m younger than them so kena ikut durang punya timing la utk kumpul2 mcm ni..but no problem with that because having them around and sharing the moment together is what matters most to me.)

The chocolate cake…yeah..saya tau kamurang nampak kici butul tu..hehe..ya, memang kecil dan tidak ‘padan2’ untuk sambutan harijadi bagi 3 orang. Itulah last minute punya pasal, sekali pigi bakery shop..kehabisan kek sudah. Yang ada dan sesuai dengan citarasa, tinggal itu saja satu-satunya. Mau tidak mau, dalam keadaan rushing terpaksa ambil itu saja…asal ada lagi la..pangadat po bilang my lovely sister. Hahaha..

(Mama with her birthday girls..we love u mum!)

My dearest sisters, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We may not be able to get together everyday but I know our loving thoughts and prayers for each other are with us in our hearts every moment and everyday, and that really makes us closer than anything. I love you my darling sisters! May God bless us.

Mana satu bah mau undi ini ahh?

2009-01-28T13:26:00.003+08:00

Makin lama saya tingu ni logo..makin bingung pula jadinya. Macam semua pun saya mau undi..hehe. Rakan-rakan pembaca mungkin ada pilihan dan idea tersendiri mengapa memilih salah satu logo di atas...well, come and join us...share your idea/thought/choice etc with us.

For more information, log on to www.marudubloggers.blogspot.com

Thank you very much.

LEARNING TO SPEAK HUMBLY AND POSITIVELY

2009-01-21T17:17:00.006+08:00

Like what I had written in my previous entry, the spirit and feeling of enthusiasm in blogging has just begun its influence on me. And I’m glad – also a bit ‘worried’ – to announce that I’m beginning to kinda addicted to this ecstasy of sharing and exchanging information via the net…apalagi sekarang selepas sudah menjadi salah seorang staff SAM…lagilah ketagih mau duduk depan PC. Inda sedar2 pagi atau petang. Kadang2 lupa hari berapa sudah…ehem..ini pula yang dimaksudkan oleh best friend saya tentang rasa ketagih yang dia rasakan untuk berblog…macam Tekong cakap, seronok berada di opis SAM sekalipun sampai jam 2-3 am. Kerja karas tapi tidak stress. Tahniah kepada semua staff SAM!

Sebelum tu, izinkan saya untuk berbahasa ‘rojak dan campur2’ di sini. Sebenarnya saya mau tulis dalam BM tapi otak saya bilang mau juga campur2. Bukan kerana “I feel silly when I write in Malay” tapi kebetulan thinking & writing drills yang pernah saya pelajari lebih banyak dalam BI dan Kimaragang. Tiada niat mau minta puji dan malahan inda juga 'teror' sangat pun dalam bahasa asing ni. Sekadar satu kebetulan. Apapun, saya memang pencinta linguistik. Tidak kira apa bahasa, saya amat suka dan mahu mempelajarinya dan kalau mampu, mahu menguasainya. Best and feel really living!

Aii…macam tiada kaitan pula apa yang saya tulis ni dengan title di atas itu…hehe.. inilah kadang2 masalah orang kita. Suka beat around the bush dulu baru sampai kepada pointnya. Itupun kalau kesampaian. Malangnya, yang lebih kerap berlaku ialah communication breakdown macam cerita Dr. Nellson dalam blog Kimaragang Wagu, “Tanganak kadung ko tumee..” dan cerita tambahan LM dalam ruangan komen…bah, baca’an pogi diko’o sondiri..hehe.

Learning to speak humbly and positively…dua perkara ini – humble and positive – menjadi semakin authentic sejak saya terjun – tapi inda mati aah malah lebih ‘hidup’…really living! – ke dunia blogging dan SAM. Dari pengamatan saya, semua staffs SAM mempunyai ketrampilan dan kredibiliti juga aura yang tersendiri. Boleh dikatakan ada-ada saja sesuatu di dalam diri setiap ahli yang boleh dibanggakan dan boleh membuat orang lain berkata ‘boleh tahan oh dia!’. Pun begitu, apa yang lebih membuatkan saya tertarik dan terkesan ialah dengan cara setiap ahli maintain humility dalam diri masing-masing. Biar dipuji setinggi langit tapi tidak pernah membuatkan mereka ‘lupa daratan’. Saya sangat suka dengan attitude yang seumpama ini kerana ini memberikan pengaruh yang besar kepada diri saya yang selalu sukar untuk mengaplikasikan humbleness secara verbal mahupun non-verbal . Dengan kata lain, harap2 dapat mengikis ciri2 stubborn and arrogant dalam diri saya…huhuhu. Terima kasih SAM and keep it up!

Lagi satu, budaya bercakap positif juga sangat contagious di kalangan SAM. Kita tidak bercakap atau mengkritik sesuka hati. Bercakap hanya atas dasar fakta dan analisis yang cermat. Berani…ya memang berani bercakap tapi bukan sekadar loyar buruk…berjuang demi kebenaran mengikut landasan yang betul. Tidak kurang juga kata2 positif yang sentiasa menyokong dan mengangkat antara satu sama lain. Satu semangat kerjasama dan kesatuan yang luarbiasa! Ditambah pula dengan selingan2 humor di sana sini yang menambahkan lagi rasa manis dan indahnya bergabung dalam satu payung yang bernama SAM. Hasilnya, I end up learning a lot…and still learning to speak humbly and positively through SAM. Of course there are many other means of learning to educate and train us into these virtues but I tell you…SAM really makes a lot of difference! Go, go SAM!

Remember to speak humbly and positively today because you never know just how much it may mean to the one whom you speak to…all the best!

Note: “Blessed indeed are the humble at heart for the last shall be the first”.

P/S: Salam takziah kepada seluruh keluarga mendiang ODU GOLUMPIS yang sedang berkabung kerana kepergiaan ibu/nenek tercinta yang sangat berjasa kepada keluarga dan masyarakat Tandek. Sesungghnya, nama yang baik akan tetap dikenang sepanjang hayat. Amen.

Really Living

2009-01-15T14:36:00.004+08:00

What makes life interesting and worth to live? What inspires you to want to continue living? As long as we find ourselves still crawling on this earth, we have no choice but one…go on with living no matter how hard or miserable life seems to offer us (unless you choose to end up your lives on your own…but please don’t). But again, what’s the meaning of living without feeling and sensing any passion in it? Everything under the sun is meaningless says the wise man…if so, is there any exception to this? Anything can help us to REALLY LIVING?

That’s why I’m using this title and name for my blog because I am a person who wants to really living and hopefully will be able to inspire others to live life to the fullest, though I myself is still in the process of learning, understanding and applying the real meaning of really living. Together we strive for the best!

Blogging is altogether a new thing to me. I mean having a personal blog – my OWN (?) blog – had never been my utmost interest. I was just not into it – at least until recently. Not until one of my close friends “kempen2” me unceasingly to create one. I said yes to him half-heartedly…didn’t know and never imagined before that now I’m finally in LOVE with this blogging stuff…hehe (thanks my friend). Right now, I’m even tempted to create a few more blogs like what my cousin Ison did and also Sanguru, just to have a more variety and well-managed of ways in expressing my thoughts in 3 different languages – namely my mother tongue Kimaragang, English, and BM. Bukan macam sekarang ni rojak2 dlm satu blog tapi okay juga bah kann…hehe. Harap2 ada semangat mau bikin ni…mungkin juga…because I’m just in love with this new exciting thing!

People say…Without a passion in life, there is no spark…so, as things are changing all around us at rapid speeds, keep one eye on the part of it that you love. THAT part, despite whatever isn’t perfect, will keep your hopes alive; your moods right and give you faith and energy to work on the things that are not yet how you would like them. And it all starts with a passion.

Right passion in the right thing, I think it’s just a better way to really living!

Salam Perkenalan..

2009-01-13T02:28:00.000+08:00

Satu permulaan. Untuk beberapa sebab aku ingin memulakannya di sini. Tidak ada apa-apa, cuma diriku sendiri. Antara beberapa kata-kata dan sesuatu yang kusimpan dibenakku, tidak semuanya terungkai. Sekali lagi kukatakan, ini sekadar permulaan. Permulaan kepada sesuatu yang tidak dapat kujangkakan apa-apa.